Archive for the ‘Skinny People’ Category

I'm Also a Black Belt in Tae Kwon Cookie-dough

Thin girl #1, in front of ice cream fridge: Oh no, I shouldn't get any. I'm fat enough already.
Thin girl #2: Bitch, do not say stupid shit like that. You look fine.
Thin girl #1: No, you don't get it! I only look skinny. I have no muscle definition at all, it's all fat. I'm marbled. It's a trick.
Thin girl #2: So you're like… A stealth fatty?
Thin girl #1: I'm a chub ninja. I walk amongst skinny people undetected. –Whole Foods, Union Square

How Many Weight Watchers Points Are in a Wednesday One-Liner?

Average-sized woman on cell: He said "big boned." Yeah, "you're a big boned girl… Like your dad, kinda big boned." (pause) Yeah, so, I didn't really feel like eating much after that. –Queens Overheard by: bdlilrbt Girl to friend: I always think I'm a thin person, but then I look into the mirror and realize I'm not. –3rd & 13th Super skinny Japanese girl: I brought my juice with me. Then I ordered dessert. But my juice just looked better than eating dessert. –Downtown 1 Train Overheard by: dignell Middle aged women to friend: Yeah, we took her in for a few weeks. She was fine, but didn't eat much. But that's because she kind of has an eating disorder. (they burst out into a fit of laughter) –F Train Girl getting soda to friend: You know, it's the ice that makes you fat. I heard that somewhere. –Cafeteria, Marymount Manhattan Overheard by: Hannah

On the Plus Side, It Doubles As Spackle.

Skinny Indian girl: It's hot in here.
Chunky white girl: Too hot.
Skinny Indian girl: Well, at least it's better than too cold.
Chunky white girl: How so?
Skinny Indian girl: Well, now I can wear a t-shirt.
Chunky white girl: Yeah, but like, if it gets too hot we can't be whipping our clothes off. Nobody needs to see my pale shit.
Skinny Indian girl: Yeah, true.
Chunky white girl: Shit, girl. I have to buy my foundation at funeral homes. –The Met

What Happens When You Use the TV As a Babysitter: A Simulation

Skinny girl: I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Sobbing girl: I just…I just hope he's going to… be okay.
Skinny girl: Do you think that maybe you want to go and compose yourself in the office?
Sobbing girl: I was just… there. And I would… but the candy… sucks.
Skinny girl: I'll… I'll give you my last Mentos.
Sobbing girl: The Freshmaker? –The Met