Archive for the ‘S&M’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners (Bow Chicka Bow Bow)

Suit: Do you know what it’s like when you’re reading the news and you get 19 clips of Brazilian women fucking?

–Astor Place & Lafayette

Overheard by: that’s a problem?

Woman to dinner companion: I think I’d like to get into flagellation porn. I’m not really sure how to go about it though.

–Ludlow & Broome

Random girl, during lull in party conversation: But it’s straight porn!

–Bleecker & W 10th

Overheard by: Deontology

Guy: I wouldn’t fuck her if she was the last person on earth! There had better be porn on cable!

–5 Train

Professor: Does anyone know Henry Miller? [Girl raises her hand.] You and those of us… those of us who had to resort to the Sears Roebuck catalog for porn… Well, when we got older we had to turn to higher literature so we’d flip through Henry Miller for delightful dirty passages.

–Religion Class, Hunter College

Overheard by: liza

Please, Wednesday One-Liners, May I Have Another?

Teenage boy to father: You know, everyone knows you’re a furry now.

–Food Emporium, 86th St

Curly-haired chick on cell: It’s like you’re a health nut but with S&M tendencies.

–Ouidad

Overheard by: Pookins

Woman on cell: I’m constantly carrying around like four outfits, paperwork, leftover food, and collars.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: McF

Man on cell: Look, if you want to have sex with animals just get drunk and do it!

–Burrito Shop

Overheard by: Marc

Suit: …So if I raise the bed, then I can put the S&M toys under it.

–Bed, Bath, and Beyond

Overheard by: Katie

20-something college girl: Dude! I don’t know how I ended up on my knees calling him "Sir" okay!?… It just happened…

–St. Marks b/w 1st & A

Overheard by: i wish i was

Hot nerd on cell: I mean seriously, what’s the point of having friends if you can’t occasionally accuse them of sexual deviance?

–40th & 3rd

Wednesday One-Liners Eat Xanax Like Popcorn

Conductor: Use all available doors, please. Don’t be afraid of open doors.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Man looking at the BDSM exhibit: That’s not scary. I have one of those!

–Museum of Sex

Overheard by: Rachel K

Big black man to his big black friends: Yo, and I was totally afraid he’d crush my vagina.

–Starbucks, 9th & 57th

Overheard by: newsyspice

Homeless guy: I don’t know why all you people are looking at me scared! This is my game face! Halloween is over!

–G Train

Overheard by: drum

The Shameless Name Dropping Of Wednesday One-Liners

Elegant lady on cell: I’m a powerful influence on the Kennedys.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Fat black man to white man who breaks his umbrella while trying to help him open it: Aw, hells no. Don’t make me go all Britney Spears on yo’ ass.

–Duane Reade, 57th & Broadway

Chick, to guy: Danny Pintauro hit on you at a leather club?

–14th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Ladle

Professor to class: … The ark of the covenant gone, only to be found by Harrison Ford later on.

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Krisztina

Barista to meathead: … That’s the thing about Drew Bledsoe. He smokes a lot of marijuana.

–11th & Bedford

NYU girl: I want to be Patrick Dempsey! So I could fuck myself!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Maya G.

Suit on cell: Dude, you’re dating Sigourney Weaver? Right now? Dude, are you kissing her? Are you grabbing her ass? Does she still have an ass at this point?

–66th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ken

Uncle Tom’s Wednesday One-Liners

Short, fat sista: If she was only around my age, then I wouldn’t mind a slave for life.

–27th & 7th

Overheard by: tuna on rye

White guy in scrubs: Wow. Now I know what it felt like to be in the bottom of a slave ship.

–Crowded Franklin Ave 2/3/4/5 platform, Brooklyn

Overheard by: pmd

Punk girl to friend: I’m going to make him my Ukrainian sex slave!

–N 4th St & Driggs Ave

Overheard by: Hipsterrrrrs

Dude: Yeah, well, let me say this in English — she got arrested for selling people…

–Madison Square Garden

Black girl watching Asian girl mop floor: Slavery is back!

–NYFA, Union Square

Overheard by: kswin

Wednesday One-Liners Forget the Safe Word

Old lady to other: Oh… S & M… Do you like to be the dominant one?

–El Greco Diner, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Robert

Girl boarding elevator, to friend: So, it’s not good when you have to ask your boyfriend if he’s ever whipped himself… [Notices other people on elevator] Oops.

–Elevator, 34th & 1st

Chick to another: We all assume that one day you’ll be married with kids… Probably with a dungeon in the basement, but nonetheless.

–House party, 113th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: McFreaky

Leather goods hawker: I’ve got leather everything! Leather thongs, leather socks… I got a leather condom with a zipper up the side!

–Orchard, near Rivington

Overheard by: losaida

Man: That Chinese lady liked it when I whipped you.

–G train

Overheard by: Jordan

TA to another: I love that we’ve been e-mailing about a student’s paper under the subject line ‘Fetish Ball.’

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Small child, happily: … And that’s the kind of pain that never goes away!

–1 train

Overheard by: Emily Star