Old Southern Man: …so I said, if yer stoopid, you shouldn’t try and show it; you should try and hide it. –Soho NYU Guy: I didn’t wear my moccasins today, Arthur, and I’m still freezing! –W. 13th St. Overheard by: Dan Winckler
Archive for the ‘Soho’ Category
Wednesday One-liners
Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing! –Fordham A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are. –Varick Street Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Unfortunately It’s All Downhill From There…
Guy Clubber: Hey, Shorty!!
Girl Clubber: Ya?
Guy Clubber: I just got to tell you that you have the best forehead I’ve ever seen…but don’t get too cute.
Girl Clubber: Umm…OK?
–Club NV, Soho
Overheard by: Debony Miller
Hey, It Works With All Three Definitions!
Artist: Where are you from?
Tourist: Israel.
Artist: Shalom.
–SoHo
Unlike All Other Cultures, Which Are a Product of Our Country
Bimbo: So are you ever going to move back to Europe?
Eurotrash: I was thinking about that a couple of times when I was really, really depressed in LA. American culture is such a product of the country.
–Soho
And We Dress So Futuristic Now
An art gallery has an exhibit of old record covers. Hipster girl: People dressed so retro back in those days. –Soho
Wednesday One-Liners' Next Stop Is Meth
Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I'm going straight to the bridge, and I ain't stopping for no crack!
–Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St.
Overheard by: Dana
Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack…
–10th St & Ave A
Man to another as he walks away: Don't spend it all in one crackhouse.
–SoHo
Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don't walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday!
–Broadway & 96th St
Wednesday One-Liners' Next Stop Is Meth
Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I'm going straight to the bridge, and I ain't stopping for no crack!
–Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St.
Overheard by: Dana
Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack…
–10th St & Ave A
Man to another as he walks away: Don't spend it all in one crackhouse.
–SoHo
Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don't walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday!
–Broadway & 96th St
Here's the Church, Here's the Steeple, Open the Doors and See All the Wednesday One-Liners
Catholic schoolgirls coming out of subway station, in unison: All those nuns care about is fucking us!
–Canal & Varick
Girl on phone, mocking tone: Oh, he's at church, huh? I don't know why he goes to church, he's going to hell anyway, ain't no room for a Blood in heaven!
–BedStuy
Woman: I wanted to raise them Quaker; I just never got around to it.
–The Village
Overheard by: Aaron
Old lady: Well, she's a bitch to say she's religious!
–Madison Ave
Dear Norwegia, We're Sorry. Love, Americia
Guy in limo: I love your city!
Guy on street: I love your city!
Guy in limo: I love your city!
Guy on street: I love your city, where you from?
Guy in limo: I'm Norwegian.
Guy on street: Norwegia!
–Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Josh