Archive for the ‘Soho’ Category

In Days of Old, Just a Glimpse of Them Was Looked on As Something Shocking

American-born Indian guy with cream colored bell bottoms tucked in a paisley shirt: There's something about fob-y girls from Asia that is so sexy–they wear stockings.
Filipino American girls #1 and #2: Uhh, what?
American-born Indian guy: Yeah! There are studies that have been done on it, like by Duke University. It's like 20 pages long. Look it up. –Prince & Elizabeth Overheard by: based on what you're wearing, ONLY girls wearing stockings would find YOU sexy

Wednesday One-Liners Hope for Conjugal Visits

Trench coat guy on cell: Are they arresting you? –72nd & West End Overheard by: orlum Woman rushing inside: Oh my god! I was almost an eyewitness to something! –Viacom building, 44th & Broadway Overheard by: bonster Man on cell: I’m sorry to bother you, but I really don’t wanna go to jail… –S 2nd & Bedford Ave Overheard by: Are All Criminals So Polite? Guy: That’s so true! He’ll willingly go to jail just for the free sex! –Union Square Park Chick toting a baby: Yeah, but I ain’t qualify fo’ that ’cause of all them felonies I got. –Ridgewood, Queens Overheard by: Grytsayo

Wednesday One-Liners Lead with Their Nipples

12-year-old girl to friend: So, he asked me for a piggyback ride and grabbed onto my boobs! Isn’t that what you call sexism? When you’re a perv? Sexist? –6th & Houston Overheard by: Ha, ha, Mal. Man on cell: You’re an eight, but you’d be a ten if your boobs were bigger… –19th & 7th Girl: Where’s my phone? … Oh, there’s my boob. –Prospect Heights, Brooklyn Overheard by: Mariah Woman on cell: I have to throw my breasts around and tell every guy I want to have sex with them at work. –68th & 2nd Chick on cell: I haven’t yet met him, you know, but he has a Christmas card featuring my boobies on his fridge. –LIRR Overheard by: Ladle

Wednesday One-Liners Know It’s Better to Look Good Than to Feel Good

Girl: I want a Marc Jacobs bag, and I don’t care if it’s made of baby cow! –Outside the Met Overheard by: wants baby cow bag, too Guy, explaining his pants: Yeah, they look gay, but they make my junk look huge. –Midtown Man picking up trash to woman picking up trash: How you gonna make ten dollars an hour and have people making minimum wage looking better than you? –Madison Sq Park Shopaholic: I know! One time I thought there was more to life than that. But then I went back to Bloomingdale’s. –59th & Madison Overheard by: DM Cook Teenage girl on phone: So where are you?…So,what happened?…Not to your shoe! In the hospital! –Central Park Overheard by: concerned trespasser Cougar-in-Training, looking at non-trendy partygoers: Clearly they don’t belong here. –Rooftop party, the SoHo House

Alice: I Could Go for Some Dwarfs

Husband: Geez! Alls you do is sit on your ass and play with the kids.
Wife: I’m sorry I am not Carol-freaking-Brady! We have six fucking kids and I still have no Alice! Give me a break and cook dinner your-fucking-self! The kids are eating PB&J — end of discussion.
Husband: The Brady Bunch was for me like Snow White was for you.
Wife: But the dwarfs here don’t whistle while they work. I still want Alice!
Husband: You always get the last word. I can’t top that! Dammit! –Soho Overheard by: Laura

Must Be a Booty Call

Drunk girl #1: God, I have to take a piss. I hope this chick hurries up. Phone rings. Drunk girl #2: Is that your phone? I love that ring. Who is it?
Drunk girl #1: It’s Richard. Who the fuck is Richard?
Drunk girl #2: Well, answer it and find out.
Drunk girl #1: I’m not answering if I don’t know who the fuck it is. They stare at each other and think real hard. Drunk Girl #1: OOHHH! Richard’s my dad. –Milady’s, Soho Overheard by: rhyno