Trashy high school girl: I'm so glad I'm finally a freshman.
High school boy #1: Why?
Trashy high school girl: Because then I can make out with all the hot jocks.
High school boy #2: Wait… You make out with me.
Trashy high school girl: Yeah, but you're my boyfriend.
–Central Park
Archive for the ‘Sorority Girls’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Stimulate the Economy
Tourist, loudly and proudly: They have this store at the mall!
–Louis Vuitton, 5th Ave
College girl: The second floor was pointless. It was, like, just furniture.
–Ikea, Brooklyn
Woman on cell: I'm not in a store! I know what a store looks like!
–Tompkins Square Park
Perturbed NYU chick, about New Orleans: Hopefully I will survive there for two years. They don't have H&M! Or Bloomingdale's or Anthropologie. They don't have Loehmann's…
–NYU Office
Overheard by: Melanie
Middle-aged guy passing clothing store with shirtless male models at front doors: Hollister? What is it, a ladies club inside?
–NoHo
Overheard by: Arielle
Yeah, It Is Pretty Sick(le).
College girl #1: You know, I'm so leftist. Like, almost at communist level.
College girl #2: Well, their flag *is* pretty sweet.
–NBC Store
Overheard by: Amanda
Any Animal That Knows How to Use a Mud Mask Has to Have a Brain
NYU girl #1: I'm totally a vegetarian, and I thought Lucy was, until she told me that she had bacon the other day!
NYU girl #2: Oh my god! That's so terrible, that poor pig. Though I think it's okay to eat chicken. I don't really consider chicken an animal. They're too stupid to be an animal. But bacon, that's totally bitchy.
–NYU
Overheard by: Meatarian
Looks Like a Couple Of Little Resurrections in My Shirt
College chick #1: Jesus!
College chick #2: What about Jesus?
College chick #1: Jesus, nipples on ice!
–Barnard College
Overheard by: Vicksburg
The Nice Jewish Girl Who Started All the Trouble
NYU girl #1: You guys, I had a dream that I was pregnant.
NYU girl #2: So did Mary.
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Carmen Quinonez
That, and Standing Next to You Makes Me Look Thinner.
College girl #1: I don't want a flesh-eating disease.
College girl #2: Me either.
College girl #3: Yeah, me either.
College girl #1: Wow, we have so much in common! No wonder we're friends.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
The Little Black Wednesday One-Liner
Professor: I don't know why any of us are here… It's gorgeous out and there are very lovely ladies wearing minimal clothing!
–NYU
Overheard by: Ginger
College girl in short skirt to friend: My ass feels naked and exposed, that's how I feel.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Man to woman: She's really starting to perfect the "slutty flight attendant" look.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Glory
Woman, with pride: My gynecologist wears leather mini skirts and platform shoes!
–Park Slope
Female suit: I am the worst lawyer ever. That's why I dress like a slut. I always win.
–L Train
Wednesday One-Liners, with Tongue.
College girl to friend, disappointed: You know? I only made out with one of them…
–NYU Dorm
(hobo shakes can with change and interrupts couple in heated makeout session)
Bitchy girlfriend, shrieking: Seriously? Seriously? Are you seriously asking me now? We're in the middle of making out. Seriously?
–Ave B & 7th St
Overheard by: friend of the mole people
Guido to another: When you're makin' out, the next thing you know, you could be bangin'.
–Staten Island
Girl to guy friend: Once you get married, we are never going to be able to make out anymore.
–Houston & Mulberry
Man to friend: It's like that time I saw two women on walkers making out. I love New York!
–45th & 10th
Overheard by: Drunk
How Did Any Of Us Survive College?
College girl #1: I think we accidentally made crystal meth in our bathtub one time. We were cleaning it and pouring in a bunch of bleach and…
College girl #2: Wait! Why were you even cleaning the bathroom? Shelly and I lived in our apartment for over a year and we never cleaned our bathroom. It didn't smell. It was totally fine.
College girl #1: But we have to clean our bathroom… we don't have a window.
–M104 Bus