Archive for the ‘Sorority Girls’ Category

On eHarmony, No Less.

College girl #1: For two people who've been together for so long, Jen and Mike really haven't done much in bed. She was so surprised to hear how far I went with Steve.
College girl #2: I thought they've had sex?
College girl #1: Yeah, but he's never seen her boobs!!
College girl #2: They had sex and he's never seen her boobs? Nate has seen my boobs–does that make me a whore?
College girl #1: Steve has seen my boobs too…
College girl #2: Who is more of a whore?
College girl #1: Me–definitely me.
College girl #2: I don't think so.
College girl #1: Let's have a competition.
College girl #2: I met him over the internet!
College girl #1: Oh yeah! You win. –Union Square

Wednesday One-Liners Go Chasing Waterfalls

Guy in line for the bathroom: Man, it takes a lot of trust to let someone piss through your legs. –Angelika Theater Girl: If I had a barbecue on my stoop, three queens would pee on it on the first night. I mean, you'd think they wouldn't, since it's a historically gay street. But I've seen so many queens peeing on Christopher Street when it's nice out! –28th & 5th Overheard by: Donk Really drunk girl: I have to pee so bad! I almost peed on the corner, but then I remembered I don't have a penis. –14th St NYU girl, immediately after taking shot of tequila: Guys, I have to pee, but I don't want to pee out the patron! –NYU Dorm NYU girl: I'm going to go see her! I sobered up for this! I drank tons of water! I could pee my ass out! –8th & University Short cop on his phone: Peed? You peed on the bed? –21st St b/w 3rd & 2nd

“It's a Small Wednesday One-Liner After All”

College girl: Yeah, the worst part about Africa was that we, like, didn't go out! –Starbucks Overheard by: Noemi Shabby-looking blue collar mom to distinguished older Indian woman: Ohhh! I have always wanted to go to Bollywood! I love East Africa and Asia! I wanted to buy a bonsai tree, but they are way too expensive. –5 Train 20-something, looking at Washington arch: There was something like this in France. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: M Guy on cell: I swear I didn't have sex with her when I was in Norway. –Lower East Side

Don’t Read Too Much Into Wednesday One-Liners

Teenager: Dude, my sister is always stealing her friends’ books, but like, sometimes no one has the book she wants, how much easier would it be if there was like, a Blockbuster, but for books. –Blockbuster Girlfriend to boyfriend: Did you bring something to read on the train? I’m trying to decide if I want to talk to you, sleep, or read my book. –A Train Overheard by: The Green Cat Teenage girl: I need Romeo and Juliet. But do you have any with, like, the English on one side and Shakespeare on the other? –Barnes & Noble, Union Square Spoiled colleg girl to friend: My mom really wants me to get a nice big tote because she’s really worried about how I’m going to carry all my books. But I’m, like, worried if I’m even going to read my books. –Outside Bloomingdale’s Dressing Room Chick: So they called him up on stage, and they were like: "We want to bestow this honor upon you." And he was like: "It is indeed an honor, an honor indeed." And I’m all like: "Come on, like, I mean, seriously, like, who talks like that? Can’t you take it down a notch! Don’t you read US Weekly or anything? –Starbucks, Woolworth Building NYU girl to male friend: There’s almost something poetic about it, you know? Like, the 20-year-old Catholic virgin from Connecticut losing it to the older Ecuadorian lothario? Hell, I should just write a book about my life. –NYU Dining Hall

Please Remain on the Line. Your Wednesday One-Liner Is Important to Us.

Usher: I will tell you once again: do not use your cell phone! I know how to wrestle! –Theatre Man: What kind of faggot has a 551 number? –Cooper Union, Astor Place Overheard by: a friend of mine does Drunk Long Island girl: I don't know! I guess my phone was on lock or unlock or whatever, but my boobs must have called you! –W 10th St Overheard by: max Blonde NYU ditz, looking at BlackBerry: Wait… what area code is 718? That's like really far away, right? –Sullivan & Bleecker Overheard by: i actually laughed at her Conductor: This is the train to Ronkonkoma, also known as "ko, hip hip hey and away we go." When using cell phones, please, keep it quiet, 'cause no one really wants to know what you're talkin' about. –LIRR Overheard by: Goober

Wednesday Undie-Liners

College girl on cell: So as of last weekend I've pledged to be celibate for a year…although on second thought, it should really start today. I got pretty trashed last night and this morning I couldn't find the underwear I was wearing yesterday. –Church St Overheard by: Emma 20-something woman: Did you enjoy the bra fitting? Old lady grab your bits? –Outside Town Shop Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy Elderly woman examining bras: What's with all this padding? I got my own damn titties! –H&M, 5th Ave Overheard by: titti-less Eight-year-old in a suit jacket on cell, strutting around the store: Did you see any hot, sexy girls? Yeah, but were they hot and sexy? Where are you, man? Are you still in the underwear aisle? Yeah, but are you still by the panties? (louder) The panties! –Barnes & Noble, Tribeca Overheard by: emdeebee Trashy girl walking funny: Well, I guess I should have worn underwear. –Arthur Ave