Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners for Celebretards

Young black guy to another: You know, Obama is to politics what Richard Simmons is to exercise. –PATH Train Guy standing outside bar: And she was like, "What, like Gary Coleman?" and I'm like, "No, not like fucking Gary Coleman!" –4th & 10th Girl to boyfriend: Well, Tom Green only had one testicle. It's totally fine. –E 11th St Overheard by: j Suit on cell: And I was like, "Fuck you, Ryan Cabrera"! –Bedford & 6th St Black girl on cell: I told you, we're like the Paris Hiltons of Liberia. –Borders, Wall St Overheard by: step Guy (after taking picture with Jeremy Piven): Damn! I can't put this on MySpace. I'm wearing the same shirt I wore when I met Chazz Palminteri! –Outside Barrymore Theatre Overheard by: Pasta…Salad

Wednesday One-Liners Take Up Hobbies

Middle-aged woman: I really never cared for skiing, but I was so alone in my marriage, I found it was a great way to meet men. –Burritoville, 77th & 2nd Meathead #1, to meathead #2: Hey! Want to go to a ballroom club? –47th & Madison Guy, to passersby: Game of chess? Play chess? Chess?…Also got chronic. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Phil

He’ll Be Happy to Share Some WD-40 Memories with You, Though

Preppy guy #1: I hate geese shit on fields.
Preppy guy #2: It’s not so bad. It’s a good lubricant for when you slide-tackle people. You know, you just keep sliding…
Preppy guy #3: Dude, I can’t remember the last time I jerked off using geese shit. It can’t be that good a lubricant! –Central Park

You Keep Going Back to the Womb

Musician: Oh, so this past tour — you’re gonna laugh.
Friend: Yeah?
Musician: This past tour I went skinny dipping in hotel pools three times. The water’s really warm, and the lights have to be off, but they leave the doors open.
Friend: That is so you. –Manny’s Music Store, 48th & Broadway Overheard by: Spidoodle