Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

Wednesdanimal One-Liners

Man to friend: I don't know what made him think he could outrun an alligator! –Sheridan Square Overheard by: Lory Father to young son: Holy shit, Joey, look at the turtles! They're stackin' and rackin' 'em! –Central Park Zoo Mom to kid, pointing to seal exhibit: Look! Otters! –Central Park Zoo Overheard by: Rebecca Young man, joyfully throwing his arms in the air: Then all of the lemmings go off of the cliff! –The Village Overheard by: Aaron

Bootylicious Wednesday One-Liners

Gay guy on cell: And they had the guy with the biggest butt stand next to the guy with the second-biggest butt! Seriously, what is wrong with them? –6th Ave & 12th Woman getting on a crowded train, looking for a seat: See, I told you there would be a lot of behinds on this train! –N Train Overheard by: Some behind lucky enough to find a seat. Thug to another: After I wipe his ass, I'm gonna beat his ass! –86th & Park Ave Woman on cell: So, what are you going to tell him? "Sorry, I can't marry you–your ass is broken"? –1st & 23 Teen to friend: Why didn't he use a tennis racket? It would have left that waffle fry look on your ass. –Bus to Penn Station Skipping tween girl to metrosexual father: I've seen your butt, you know! –72nd & Lexington Ave Overheard by: Shannon

My Sister's Roommate's Cousin Knows Wednesday One-Liner's Agent

Young thug in crooked baseball hat to female friend: No, everyone should have the right to love Tom Cruise. –41st & Lexington 40-something Midwest tourist to 40-something friends: Yeah, this is where Miley Cyrus was staying. (points to Sheraton hotel, friends gasp in excitement) –53rd & 7th Tourist son to mom: Let's go to the park and watch Jerry Seinfeld play softball. –67th & Central Park West Overheard by: Q Random guy outside on corner: Yo, I just saw Phil Donahue. I just saw him walking down the street… (starts to sing in Cops theme song style) Whatchu gonna do when Phil Donahue comes for you? (pause) Yo, Phil Donahue is a crazy motherfucker! –Astoria Boulevard, Queens Girl on cell: Yeah, but I tower over him when I wear heels…and I'm not exactly sure if I'm ready to be Katie Holmes to his Tom Cruise. –33rd & Broadway Woman: Everywhere I go, I see either someone I know or a celebrity! –69th & Columbus Little boy to mother: Oooh…I thought Malcolm X was a singer. –Flatbush & Beekman Overheard by: Chelsea