Archive for the ‘Stab’ Category

Jim Henson’s Charles Manson Babies!

Little boy stabbing balloon man with a balloon sword: Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
Balloon man: Goodbye! Be good, everyone!
Little boy, still stabbing: Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! –Central Park Overheard by: Rick Felice Headline by: Matthew Runners-Up: · “And if that doesn’t do it, I challenge you to water pistols at dawn!” – Cynthia · “Except you, kid. You go fuck yourself.” – ImmaculatePizza · “He Who Lives By The Balloon…” – Hobo Whisperer · “You too, Brutus.” – Aeirlys
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Taking a Knife is the new Taking a Bullet

Guy: Yo, it’s not like a religion or nothin’. More like a nation, really. I’m tellin’ you, we got our own rules. We respect each other.
Girl #1: Are you sure it’s not a religion?
Guy: Nah. Like for example, if some guy tried to stab my friend, I’d jump in and take that blade for him. I’d do that for him.
Girl #2: That’s respect. –B Train Overheard by: Dominic

Wednesdays Have Defense Wounds on Their One-Liners

College girl on cell: He told me he got in a knife fight with his dad, and I was like (sarcastic) "Yeah, okay! You got in a knife fight with your dad." (pause) But he probably did get in a knife fight with his dad… –Columbia University Girl to friend: Trinity is the school for kids from Choate who stabbed their roommate. –Clover Club Overheard by: Emily Girl to friend: I will cut you in your face with a knife before I put my hands on you. You feel me? –E 161st St, The Bronx Hamptons club girl: You mean I cut him with a razor blade and I don't even recognize him? –Outside East Village Club Overheard by: DJ 20-something girl, on cell: Oh my god! Who the hell gets stabbed in the back of the head at a flower shop? –Starbucks

I'm Too Sexy for My Wednesday One-Liners.

Comedian guy with flyer: Girl, you have some sexy nostrils! –Broadway Gay man to another: Next Halloween I am going to be a sexy tub of lard. –Broadway & Spring 20-something hot girl on cell: So, like, Kristin was supposed to go as a water-boarding torture victim, which is hilarious, but then, she like, um, shows up as a *sexy* water-boarding torture victim, which is better than being, like, all gross and frumpy. But come on… that's not funny. –Q Train Creepy old man: When I was was a kid… Coney Island was hot! I mean "sexy." I mean it was… Bam! –Neptune Ave Overheard by: taylor Girl on cell: It's really not like a sexy stabbing. –Centre St


Petite, haggard woman, suddenly changing subject: All the same, one day she's going to get stabbed.
Placid library lady: It'll work itself out. But yes, she's a bitch.
Petite, haggard woman, practically shaking: But deep down, he loves me.
Placid library lady: Sweetie, sometimes you need to let these things work themselves out. –186th St & Hughes