Archive for the ‘Stall Spies’ Category

Regular Wednesday One-Liners

Woman: …Then they gave him enemas until it ran clear. Now he hasn’t had a movement in three days. Should I be worried? –Subway Suit: Yeah, I just left a floater in the upstairs bathroom. –44th & 3rd Ambiguously gay actor: Flowers come out. Girls do not poop, ever. Ever! –Tisch School of the Arts, NYU Overheard by: a girl who poops Freshman chick: I am so not in the mood to take a shit right now. –Restroom, Hunter College Cherubic blonde chick to another: You know that ‘BM’ means poop, right? –Metropolitan Museum of Art Suit-in-training: Oh, yeah, I do have to take a shit — I forgot. –NYU Stern Building Guy waiting for stall: Let’s go gang, push it out! We gotta go out here! –Manhattan Mall Overheard by: KeeZ

A Little Potty Humor–Literally

Mother: When you go into the stall do not sit down on that toilet seat!
Girl: OK, Mommy. Mother closes the door and goes into the next stall. Girl: Mommy?
Mother: Yes?
Girl: I’m sittin’ all over this toilet!
Mother: Girl, I told you not to sit on that toilet! –Wendy’s ladies room, W. 34th and 8th Ave

Scalpel….Scissors….Wednesday One-Liners…

Big black crossdresser: Oh honey, I know that no amount of surgery is going to make me a diva! –3 Train Overheard by: Kailee McMahon Mother to small daughter: Honey, don't forget to wash your hands. (girl scrubs hands for a long time) Honey, you aren't getting ready to perform surgery. Hurry up. –Women's Bathroom, The Met Man: He had to have his top hat surgically removed. –Union Square Overheard by: Kevin Intern: Latex gloves are for killing people, surgery and dying your hair. –1501 Broadway Overheard by: Randi Loud woman on phone: Yeah, he got his tubes clipped this weekend. He's been fixed! Oh, but don't tell anyone, he doesn't want anybody to know. –Dunkin Donuts Girl on cell: How did teaching go? How was the surgery? Did human skin taste good? –Columbia University Overheard by: The Poogtastic One