Customer: A hot coffee, please.
Cashier: Huh?
–Starbucks, 28th & 3rd
Archive for the ‘Starbucks’ Category
It Would Be Thoughtful If He Did
Lady Lawyer: He says, ‘She doesn’t appreciate me.’ Come on, you’re in prison. What’s she going to appreciate, that you made her a personalized license plate? –Starbucks, Wall St.
Straightlines without Punchlines
Young woman: You need to get a car so you can take my kitty cat to the vet. –Starbucks, 71st & Broadway Overheard by: Zvi Mowshowitz
And It Was Only on the Face…
Girl #1: To tell the truth, I don't know why everyone's sad he's gone… He sounded like a horrible person. He wasn't exactly a faithful guy, from what I've heard.
Girl #2: Well, no, he only cheated on her once.
Girl #1: Once is one time too many! And he seems like the type to beat her, too.
Girl #2: No. Well, wait… He did… But it was only once.
Girl #2: Oh, okay! Only once…
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Itwasonlyonce
Oh, You're Just Cranky Because You're Hungry.
Young pretty brunette: I think that I'm anemic, I bruise so easily.
Young ditzy blonde: Oh my god! You, like, starve yourself?
Young pretty brunette: I literally felt myself get dumber after you said that. I don't understand why I associate myself with morons.
–Starbucks, 51st & Broadway
The Episode Of Sliders That Left Everyone Bored
Short Asian man to tall black man: You play basketball?
Tall black man: You fix computers?
–Starbucks
Since the Espressopation Proclamation
Female barista to another: Stay away, he's my customer.
Guy: You can't, like, own a customer, dude.
–Starbucks, East Village
Overheard by: Senseful
A Venti One
Customer: Hey, you lost a lot of weight.
Barista: No, I gave birth two weeks ago.
Customer: To a baby?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: mjw51
Young Mr. Duran Is Just Hungry Like the Wolf
Pretty teen girl #1: Did you know there's a guy in our school who looks exactly like Taylor Lautner?
Pretty teen girl #2: Seriously?
Pretty teen girl #1: Yeah. His name is Alison.
Pretty teen girl #2: Ew. That's such an ugly name!
Pretty teen girl #1: I know. He like, stares… If you turn around and look at him, he's looking at you. All the girls think he's staring at them. You know how all the girls in that group are pretty?
Pretty teen girl #2: I know! It's crazy!
–Starbucks, Chelsea
Overheard by: Katherine Wallace
Watch Teen Mom and See Girls Who Are Both!
Girl #1: Most of my friends are from high school.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too. They're all having babies.
Girl #3: Most of my friends are babies. (to barista) Grande, non-fat, no-whip mocca.
–Starbucks