Archive for the ‘Starbucks’ Category

Like Everybody Who Works for a Living

Guy: You ever try Kopi Luwak?
Girl: No, who is he?
Guy: It’s not a he, it’s the world’s most expensive coffee.
Girl: That’s not the coffee that’s made from cat shit, is it?
Guy: It’s not made from cat shit.
Girl: They pick the beans out of the cat shit.
Guy: Sort of.
Girl: So that posers like you can drink it.
Guy: You don’t understand the concept of gourmet.
Girl: Maybe not, but I understand the concept of eating shit.

–Starbucks, Court St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Big Larry

Well, Judging from the Barrel of Liquor Around Your Neck…

Girl #1: And then he said that when he sees people, he likes to picture what kind of dog they’d be. Apparently I’m a Golden Retriever, and he’s a German Shepherd, and those breeds just don’t mix.
Gril #2: That is fucking messed up.
Girl #1: I know! He is so delusional! And he would so not be a German Shepherd.
Girl #2: No. (long pause) I wonder what type I’d be.

–Starbucks, 103rd & Broadway

I’m Saving It for Marriage

Barista: Would you like to try a cappuccino muffin?
Customer: No, thanks. I don’t want to start my appetite yet.

–Starbucks, 45th & Broadway

Overheard by: Cat


Headline by: Mandaliet


Runners-Up:
· “And i don’t want to have to shove this down your fucking throat, but i will if… Whoa… Too much soft jazz, if you know what i mean… Sorry.” – Mike Chmiel
· “Its Bad Enough My Lungs Keep Breathing” – Chuckie
· “Stomach: Let’s Get Ready To Rummmmmmmble!” – Paul K.
· “The first step is admitting you have an appetite.” – greg




Click here to see the new Headline Contest

We Give the Towels to Customers When We Run Out of Java Jackets

Female barista, scrubbing floor boards: I hate doing clean sweep ’cause I get all sweaty… Especially in my butt crack.
Male barista: You should employ the butt tissue. Just slip a paper towel in there at the start of the shift, and then just toss it at the end.
Female barista: I already do that.
Customer: Now that’s legendary service.

–Starbucks, 67th & Queens

Overheard by: sunnyvalesteve