Archive for the ‘Staten Island’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Go Looking for a Vein

Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor? –Grand & Union, Brooklyn Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed! –17th & 8th Ave Overheard by: Dave Little kid: Look, I'm on crack! –Apple Store, Staten Island Mall Overheard by: Robert Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else… –Walgreens, Union Square Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium? –Uptown 6 Train Overheard by: left my opium stash at home 20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did! –Chinatown Bus Overheard by: GavinJoyce Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay." –33rd & 7th Overheard by: EthanK

We Call It “Little Israel”

Guy: So you guys are Jewish?
Girl: Yeah, why?
Guy: Are you from Brooklyn? I live there now, and there are a lot of Jewish people there.
Girl: No, we’re from Staten Island.
Guy: Oh. Are there a lot of Jewish people there? –Finnerty’s, Union Square area Overheard by: Becka Dash

Raise Your Hand If The Biggest Loser Pisses You Off

Mother: What would you guys want if we get McDonald's? We haven't had it in so long…
20-something son: We haven't had it in so long because it's so fattening and gross. Do you know how much fat is in just one of their wraps?
Teenage son: This is not The Biggest Loser. This is called We're Getting McDonald's. –Hylan Boulevard, Staten Island

“…Just like I tell my dad.”

Mom: Hold my hand! It’s too crowded for you to let go of my hand!
Dad: He think he grown, but he ain’t grown yet.
Mom: I know, waking up all early in the morning.
Dad: Next time he does that, thinkin’ he’s all grown, tell him to change his own shitty Pamper. –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: J. Noelle

Ouch, That Irony Smarts.

Guido #1, in thick Staten Island accent: Yo, yo bro, I found this thing on Word, it makes you sound smarter.
Guido #2 in same accent: No way, bro! What is it?
Guido #1: I don't know, it's this thing, you click it and it gives you all these words that make you sound smarter.
Guido #2: What's it called?
Guido #1: Sin… Sinono… Sino-somethin, but I swear to god, bro; it makes you sound smarter. –St John's University, Staten Island Overheard by: Not from Staten Island