Nun #1: The lady who is the Statue of Liberty is Catholic.
Nun #2: Someone told me she was Muslim, but I think they were just trying to keep it safe from airplane attacks.
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Joseph Lo Cascio
Archive for the ‘Statue of Liberty’ Category
Tourists Tsouris
Chick: I get in the cab and in five seconds Billy’s got his hands and nose pressed against the glass. And I’m like, stop that! That’s not funny. They’ll think we’re fucking tourists. They’ll take us like the longest fucking way from here. They think we’re fucking tourists. You are not excited by the Brooklyn Bridge! Or the Statue of Liberty! –Lafayette St.
Hey, Jesus Wore a Dress.
Blond son: Mom, is the Statue of Liberty a boy or a girl?
Mom: Well, what do you think it looks like?
Blond son: I think it's a boy. It looks like a boy.
–Ferry to Statue of Liberty
Overheard by: Jaclyn
Kinda Cool How Those Italians Are Carrying It, Though.
British female tourist: That's the Statue of liberty?
British male tourist: I don't get it.
British female tourist: It's just a bloody fucking statue!
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Stephanie
Wednesday How-Many-Liners?
Tourist, looking at buildings across from Central Park: So which one is the Statue of Liberty?
–Columbus Circle
Girl: Are pork chops made of lamb?
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Nora Claire
Girl to bouncer at bar: Does this place have really awesome bathrooms?
–East Village
Overheard by: bb
Tourist: Is Chinatown closed?
–Canal St
Overheard by: Kristen
Hippie at exhibit for world's most extreme animals: Are they alive?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Lady on cell: Times Square's where that ball is, right?
–42nd St & 6th St
Overheard by: tourists rock
Guy: What is this? So I sign up and get a free beer?
–Designated Driver Booth, Citi Field
Overheard by: AJ
Why Do You Think So Many Post-apocalyptic Thrillers Are Filmed in New York?
Southern tourist daughter: Mommy, why can't we just get off at Jamaica? Aren't there sunny beaches there? Why's it all so cloudy?
Southern tourist mother: Because we're on the subway to go to the Liberty Statue tour, honey bunches.
(short pause)
Southern tourist daughter: But why's everything so damaged?
–LIRR
“Et Tu, Wednesday One-Liner?”
Very young thug to slightly older thug: My nigga, I'm the fuckin' ghetto McGyver! I can make a…a cigarette filter into a knife!
–Uptown B Train
Overheard by: It's a little too squishy to be very threatening…
Ghetto man: A woman tried to stab me once while we was having sex!
–Broadway & 32nd St
Girl on cell: She got stabbed 15 times. They said it was self defense.
–94th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Dan Rosen
Black guy on cell: Dude, she was trying to stab me with a corkscrew! I couldn't listen to you at a time like that! I was in crisis mode! (pause) Yes! A fucking corkscrew! A corkscrew, nigga! A motherfucking corkscrew!
–Fulton Street Mall
Hobo, wearing plastic crown wrapped in toilet paper: And after I got out of jail for trying to stab that motherfucker with a screwdriver, I said "fuck it, I'm the motherfucking Statue of Liberty! What you looking at, whitey?"
–4/5 Train
Overheard by: Whitey
Hip young NYU student on cell: I was with Ricky again last night. (pause) Yeah, I had to pull the knife out on him again. (pause) No, but it was funny, though.
–NYU
Overheard by: brooklyn1234
Wednesday One-Liners See the World With Fresh Eyes
Little boy to dad: Does the Statue of Liberty have a claw?
–Battery Park
Little boy to mother: Will you hurry up? You're slower than my aunt Jebediah in the bathtub!
–Clark St, Brooklyn
Four-year-old boy to mother: And then you fed me…from your belly button!
–Old Navy Store
Overheard by: Joyfully Yours
Little boy playing with friend: Buenos dias, reptile!
–Astoria Park
Overheard by: Julie & Zane
Blond six-year-old, looking at father's New Yorker magazine: What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?
–Doma Cafe
Seven-year-old with Spiderman backpack: Dad, have I lost my youth?
–1 Train
Little girl with pigtails, running to sit with family: We're going to the dark side!
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Then Why Are the Ghostbusters Riding in It, Smart Guy?
Young tourist woman to boyfriend: Is that the Statue of Liberty?
Boyfriend: Umm…no. That would be the Empire State Building.
–30th & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Marie Ziskin
We're All Nine Meals Away from Being Wednesday One-Liners
Black hobo to rush-hour crowd: So, did ya' hear now Obama's president they gonna tear down the Statue of Liberty? Yeah, they gonna put up a new statue–one o' Aunt Jemima!"
–Shuttle Train GCT
Overheard by: Mrs. Butterworth
Hobo: Hey, kids! I wish I was a kid again. Then I'd have a hundred million dollars!
–Henry St, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Jesse
Hobo to clerk: Don't worry, baby, I'll take care of the Gaza Strip.
–Deli, 45th & 3rd
Overheard by: LP
Hobo to girl with boxing gloves attached to her backpack: Hi, there! Give a little money to help the homeless? (silence) I'll take anything but a punch in the face!
–Astor & Lafayette
Overheard by: Andi C.
Shouting hobo: The family that scratches their butts together has smelly fingers!
–34th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Kramer
Hobo crossing street and pushing shopping cart: Hi ho Silver!
–23rd St & Park Ave