Archive for the ‘Statue of Liberty’ Category

Oh, Just Like You Bringing Me to Orgasm?

Texan mom: It says here that the French gave this statue as a gift.
Texan dad: Ain’t no way France coulda sent that. They ain’t got no boat big enough.
Texan mom: But it says here…
Texan dad: Ain’t possible means ain’t possible. Gittit?

–Liberty Island

Overheard by: Colman

Wednesday One-Liners’ Hometowns Were Glad to See Them Go

Brit lady, to MTA booth lady: Two adults, please. We’ll be getting off around 58th Street. –14th St F station Overheard by: Fidget Tourist: Excuse me, does the F train stop here? –Subway sandwiches, Houston & Lafayette Tourist woman, loudly: Jeany? How many stops are we going on this train? –Times Square shuttle Overheard by: nevermind Tourist: Excuse me, which way is it to Upper Town? –Broadway & Worth Overheard by: dukes Tourist: Is this now the Grand Canyon of the East Coast? –Ground Zero Tourist: My plane doesn’t leave for 4 hours. Can I walk to the Statue of Liberty from here? –La Guardia Airport Overheard by: Jose Hernandez Tourist, leading a group of more than a dozen fellow tourists: Okay, I… um…don’t know where we are now…Oh, wait! Yes I do! We’re at the South Street Seaport! –Union Square Blonde: Look, there’s the Chrysler. Look, there’s Times Square. Where’s the Empire State Building? –Top of Empire State Building Overheard by: englishman in new york Tourist, to deck hand: I can’t see the Statue of Liberty. Would you please move the lifeboat out of the way while I take a picture? –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Steven Lowell

My Anti-Drug? Being a Retard

Girl #1: For our next trip, my parents want to go on a cruise to Alaska.
Girl #2: Oh my god, no! Haven’t you seen the Titanic?
Girl #1: I know, right? Plus, it’s cold. I mean look at March of the Penguins. They die there. –F train Queer: So some stranger just approached me and asked me to fuck her and her husband on Staten Island…Wait, it was Ellis Island. Yeah, she wanted me to fuck with the Statue of Liberty.
Hag: Oh, that’s too bad. Staten Island is nice. –Union Square Overheard by: Tina L.