Archive for the ‘STDs’ Category

Our New Public Service Announcement

Guy with lisp to friend: When I have outbreaks, they never have it, so I asked the guy at the gas station and he just bought a pack for me.
(friend mumbles something)
Guy with lisp
: I have to walk miles to the gas station to get my herpes medication. My mom doesn't even know I have herpes, or that I used to have syphilis! Imagine having poison ivy on your knee, and it bursts, and there's pus. That's what it's like. Do you have herpes?

Friend, stupidly: Ha-huh. I don't know.
Guy with lisp: Did you fuck that chick Rachel?
Friend: Ha-huh. Yeah.
Guy with lisp: Did you ride her rough?
Friend: Ha-huh. Yeah.
Guy with lisp, shamelessly: You probably have herpes. I gave it to her about a month ago. We should talk more about who I've fucked and who I've given herpes to.

–Metro-North Rail

Overheard by: Fresca P.

The CDC Has Issued a Travel Advisory

Boyfriend, looking at girlfriend's iPhone: Who is this guy Nick that you're talking to?
Ditzy girlfriend: Whatever…you don't have to worry about him. He's from New Jersey, so I would never touch him.
Boyfriend: What's that have to do with anything?
Ditzy girlfriend: Hello! Everyone knows that everyone in New Jersey has STDs!

–7 Train

Headline by: kate

Runners-Up:
· “Experience=Wisdom” – Fresca

· “I Only Cheat on You Within the Five Boroughs” – The Cleveland Kid
· “It’s Why They Have 50 Different Words for Painful Urination” – Brother Elmer
· “Nick
: I Told Her That’s Not What “Suburbia” Is…” – Porter

· “Why Lincoln & Holland Toll Takers Wear Gloves” – Leary Blaine


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-liners for Other Places