Archive for the ‘STDs’ Category

Sexed Up Wednesday One-liners

Girl: I wanted to do something like Jenny On The Block. You know: Jennifer Lopez. My character is really hot, but she looks a little psycho. –13th St. & 3rd Ave. Teenage girl: Bitch! I did not give you syphilis. I gave you crabs. –13th St. & 2nd Ave. Overheard by: Chris Carter Asian boy: If I could name you anything, it would be “titty”. –F train Overheard by: Nathalie

Do I Hear the Pitter Patter Of Tiny Wednesday One-Liners?

Sassy lady on cell: I tell you, he got the wrong bitch pregnant! –Union Square Overheard by: Stunned! Girl: Ugh, pregnancy would be like, so much worse than gonorrhea. –John Jay Dining Hall, Columbia University Overheard by: jane AT&T employee: Yeah, when I had my daughter I actually didn't have to stay overnight in the hospital. See, usually, after you have the baby, you have to pass the placenta. The doctor actually reached up inside me and just pulled it out, just like that. He told me I was fine to go home after that, so I did. –AT&T Store, Union Square 20-something on cell: But I refused to go down on him…I told him I'm not ready to have a baby. (pause) Of course you can get pregnant by swallowing! Hello? Did you not take sex-ed in high school? –61st St & Lexington Ave Woman on cell: It's such a small opening, and it gets torn apart when you have a kid! –42nd St & Park Ave Overheard by: Weekender 20-something on cell: But I'm tired of always being pregnant. –East Village Overheard by: also tired

Full Frontal Wednesday One-Liners

Dude to another: Yeah, but she got a yeast infection from sitting around naked on muffins all day. –Union Square Overheard by: chris Artsy guy on cell: No, no, she’s not naked… But you want to see her naked! –12th & Broadway Overheard by: EthanK Flight attendant: Your pilot for the flight today is Buck Naked. Your first officer is Justin Case. That’s just in case Buck Naked decides to get buck wild. –LaGuardia Dude: I heard that all they do there is have sex and drink beer… And have naked snowball fights. –41st & 7th