Archive for the ‘STDs’ Category

You've Been Waiting for an Excuse to Use That One, Haven't You?

NYU girl: I'm not surprised that she has mono. I mean, she's been a slut for a while now. It was bound to catch up with her.
Friend: Yeah, she's a reverse jukebox.
NYU girl: A what?
Friend: You know how you put money into a jukebox and it makes noise? Guys put their dicks in her to make her shut the fuck up.

–NYU Silver Center

Does That Make Us Generation KY?

Girl #1: Whoa! People still get herpes? I thought herpes was a thing of the 80s.
Girl #2: Yeah, well, my mom was having sex in the 80s.

–13th St & 4th Ave

Overheard by: dani

Headline by: Sam

Runners-Up:
· “And Is Now on VH1’s “I Fucked the 80s”” – Henk

· “And It’s So Hard to Find a Mother’s Day Card That Mentions Valtrex” – STD Free
· “Just Another Side Effect Of Parachute Pants and Big Hair” – Morning Glory
· “Once the 90s Rolled Around She Stopped Trying to Catch STDs and Started Trying to Catch Pokemon” – Gotta catch em all
· “That Explains Why All Your Friends Have Herpes” – Brian
· “Why You Should Never Fill Your Parents Prescriptions” – JB


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Strangely, She Then Mentioned a “Russian Judge” and a “German Judge”

Male Fordham student: I think I witnessed a girl getting bad news about either being pregnant or getting STDs!
Female Fordham student: How do you know?!
Male Fordham student: Because she was on the phone and I heard her say “wait, that's not possible, how could the results come back as that?”

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Wednesday-One-Liner Me, Kate

Black lesbian hipster: Don't, like, kiss me or look into my eyes…just fuck me and then buy me lunch.

–Eugene Lang College

Overheard by: Helena the Great

Little boy to sister, watching couple kissing and hugging: Ewwwwww! He kissed her!

–3rd Ave & 34th St

Overheard by: Valley

Guy on cell: So then if she has herpes, should I not kiss her?

–PATH Train

Woman to toddler: Yes, it's good. It's very good. Kissing and hugging are good.

–Eldridge St, Chinatown

Overheard by: wheelerface

Dad, to teenage son: Hey, Karen kissed me. And it was real.

–E 20th St

Overheard by: Angela

250-pound male Metro worker, singing gruffly: I kissed a girl and I liked it!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Chis K

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Count Anal

Girl on cell: I don't know what it is with me and virgins. I think I've collected like four virgin scalps.

–Q58 Bus

Overheard by: Tom

Cashier, screaming to friend cashier: But why do you have to tell everyone that he's the guy who popped my cherry?

–72nd & 1st

Overheard by: tomas

Ghetto girl: If you got finger-popped, you ain't no virgin.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: Jake M

Teen boy on cell: Of course I don't have any kids! Girl, you know I'm pure–like water in Africa.

–Manhattan Ave & 123rd St.

Overheard by: CreativeBunny

Hispanic girl, loudly to a group of friends : I mean, I'm still a virgin and I have three STDs!

–Ave C