Archive for the ‘Store’ Category

The Ramblings of the Elderly

An old woman is drumming up contributions for the SPCA. Young Man: Good luck!
Old Woman: We don’t need luck, we need cooperation. Does Bush say good luck to the soldiers? No, he just sends in more troops! Come on! Don’t be a phony. –Kinko’s, 20th St. and 6th Ave. Overheard by: Lucian Piane

“Really? I’ll go get my shovel!”

Girl #1: I love Kurt Cobain. I so would have had sex with him.
Girl #2: That’s like #60 in a long line of dead celebrities you would have had sex with. You’re such a slut!
Girl #1: No, see, you can have sex with as many dead celebrities as you want and not be a whore. It’s the rules. –Barnes & Noble, Union Square

Beauty is Only Deep Skin

Woman, 50s: “You look so rested, so refreshed. Have you lost weight?” That’s what you want them to say. Not, “you look like you’ve had 3 inches of skin on your face tightened.”
Friend, 50s: Did you go back to work right after?
Woman, 50s: Not right after. Because of the bruising. But it’s New York. I could have 2 heads and no one would notice. –Ollie’s, UWS Overheard by: TG

Warning: Cross-dressing has been found to cause cancer in laboratory animals

Customer: I’m looking for a book. The computer said it was in stock when I was here before but it wasn’t on the shelf. Can you check to see if it’s saying that it’s still in stock?
Clerk: Sure.
Customer: It’s called Drag Diaries.
Clerk: Yeah, it’s saying that there’s one in stock but we sold a copy in May. That might be the one we’re showing as still in stock.
Customer: Right.
Clerk: It would be in gay studies. You can check again.
Customer: Then do you have anything on crystal healing? –The Strand