Girl #1, touching bamboo sculpture: Rose, how do you think they're gonna get this down?
Girl #2: I dunno, untie it?
Girl #1: But I mean… Are they gonna, like, move it to a warehouse or, like, incinerate it? That's super not ecologically sound.
Girl #2: Um…
Girl #1: Fuck! They should just put pandas up here. Like a shit-ton of pandas. One, pandas eat bamboo. B, it would get the job done fast and all that would be left is the rope. Three, the more pandas eat, the stronger they get; the stronger they get, the more they bone, and then they're less endangered. Four, it would be really cute on the news, and… Five? Dude, pandas!
Girl #2: Are you high?
Girl #1: I've just had a Riesen.
–Roof Garden, The Met
Archive for the ‘Straight Trippin’’ Category
Raise Your Hand If You'd Like to Live This Guy's Life for a Day
Thug #1: So get this: I'm getting a haircut and this guy on a power wheelchair comes in, with a big ass fur coat and is like… “Who want da new Tupac CD?” I was rollin!
Thug #2: Only in Irvington, ma nigga.
–86th & Broadway
Overheard by: Adam Bixler
Wow, You Sure Do Know a Lot About Sex!
NYU girl #1: Yeah, I actually went through with it.
NYU girl #2: Oh god, did it hurt?
NYU girl #1: It was really nice feeling actually. The stuff was warm, but when it started taking effect it was like ear diarrhea.
–NYU
Overheard by: interesting
I Like Walking the Tightrope
20-something fashionista #1: If it weren't for Red Bull I don't know if I'd still be in college, girl.
20-something fashionista #2: Yeah, I know, girl… But if you take two, girl, it gives you diarrhea.
20-something fashionista #1: Yeah…
–L Train
Overheard by: ~LaLa~
Getting Wednesdayed Is Easy; Staying One-Linered Is Hard
Man to woman: Well, I've already been in two successful marriages…
–Hudson River Park
Talkative husband to blase wife: We've been married for over a year, who would not like us?
–F Train
Overheard by: Elise
Girl: So, when you say "married," is that like "married-and-just-not-divorced-yet," or like "married-married-and-actually-living-together"?
–6 Train
Woman on cell: Well, it's a good thing you didn't marry Susan's brother, because he ended up losing a testicle.
–DUMBO, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Megan
Woman on cell: Sorry, but if I wanted to be heavily sedated and drunk all day, I'd marry you.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Josh
Guy with eye patch: If a girl eats out your ass on the first date, you marry her!
–77th & 34th
…Resourceful.
Girl #1: When I was pregnant I was addicted to eating deodorant.
Girl #2: Damn, girl, that's just wrong!
Girl #1: It was so bad I couldn't even see my man in prison cause I couldn't go that long without some deodorant. Secret was good, but I didn't like that Dove shit. Sometimes I'd have to test that stuff out in the store. I'm all takin' a little lick, puttin' it back if I don't like it.
Girl #2: Shit girl, you're crazy.
–6 Train
As Do I, Dear Lady. As Do I.
Cute, somewhat cracked-out blonde: What kind of shot is this?
Bartender: It's my special shot.
Cute blonde: Um…does it go with Lorazepam and Adderall?
Bartender, trying not to laugh: Well yes, yes it does.
–Karavas Place, W 4th St
When Others Smoke So We Don't Have to
Young NYU girl #1: That was the closest thing to getting stoned I've ever done without actually smoking pot.
Young NYU girl #2: Yeah, totes.
–Union Square
Oh God– More Categories?
Black guy #1: Nigga, fuck you! I'm straight.
Black guy #2: Nigga…you're straight gay.
–Roosevelt Ave Station
Overheard by: just straight
…Against Your Chemically-Induced Emotions
20-something Long Island girl: Oh god! This breakup has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I honestly don't even care that he dumped me.
Friend: Yeah, totally.
20-something Long Island girl: Seriously, he needs to realize if it wasn't for that sweater he was wearing, and the fact that I was on ecstasy that night, we would have never dated for this long.
Friend: Yeah! It was J.Crew… And they were double stacked…you were powerless.
–Lokal Bar, Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Aaron