Male passenger: Man, come on, move the bus! There’s a fucking war in Iraq, and I have to take two more buses! There’s a war in Iraq, and I have to take two more buses!
Female passenger: What, to get there?
–Q76 bus
Overheard by: Samn
Archive for the ‘Straight Trippin’’ Category
I’ll Eat It, but the Fungus Love Is Out
Woman babbling in Spanish: Mushrooms! Fuck him! I can’t even tell you how… Fucking mushrooms… Michael Jordan? Really? Oy… It’s like… Uh… I didn’t catch him at the right time, you know?
Man: I don’t know Spanish. You cookin’ dinner tonight? Shit.
–6 train
Overheard by: Lauren Michelle
Actually, I Think That’s a Guild Bylaw
Meth addict #1: So… What kind of work you in?
Young woman, holding up name tag which says ‘social worker’: Social Work.
Meth addict #2: Where do you work?
Young woman: Planned parenthood
Meth addict #1: Shit. Can you find her kid? They got him in foster care.
Young woman: No, sorry. I don’t work for child services. Contact your county officials and explain your situation to them.
Meth addict #2: Yeah I don’t know where he is at. Can you get him?
Young woman: I work at Planned Parenthood. Sorry.
Meth addict #2: Just ’cause you’re pretty you can’t treat people like shit.
Young woman: Just because you do drugs doesn’t mean you shouldn’t brush your teeth.
–Uptown 4 train
Mom and Dad Get Into the Spray Paint Again
Little girl #1: …and their eyes became red and they started laughing at random things!
Little girl #2: Hahaha. Let’s get out of here!
Both girls run away, laughing, down the street.
–Henry & Orange, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: CapitalJ
I Missed My Stop Again?
Tourist #1: Wait, where are we?
Skater kid: Fuckin’ Earth man, fucking Earth.
Tourist #2: Wait, where?
–Bethesda Fountain, Central Park
Didn’t You Get the Gift Basket?
Man: Hey! It’s so great to run into you! I haven’t heard from you in so long!
Woman: Yeah, that’s because you didn’t call me after we slept together.
–50th between 5th & 6th
The DEA Endorses Wednesday One-liners
Sorority girl: No, really. My brother took acid, thought he could fly, and jumped out our second story window. This really happened. –Columbia University Library Overheard by: Michael Niederman Hipster guy: I love fried chicken and cocaine. –11th & B Guy: Yeah, alcohol…It’s my anti-drug. –45th & 9th Overheard by: teo
Obviously Has Never Seen a CBS “Comedy”
Third baseman: What’s so funny?
Benched teammate: I’m high, retard. Everything’s fuckin’ funny.
–145th & Lenox Avenue softball field
We Never Snorted Candy at Stuyvesant
Bronx Science boy: I have pixie sticks.
Bronx Science girl: I love pixie sticks. Have you ever tried to snort them?
Bronx Science boy: Yeah, once I snorted a lot because I wanted to get high and my nose started gushing blood.
–1/9 train
Overheard by: chella
Not Pulling Train Would Be a Good Start
Ho: …no, really. Like, I have really been trying to win his trust back. I’ve been doing everything! I even deleted all my ex-boyfriends’ screen names from all my IM accounts, right in front of him! I don’t know what else I could do to make him trust me again… –Lehman College Overheard by: Soro