Archive for the ‘Straight Trippin’’ Category

Where Lawyers Come From

Spazzed customer: Yo, dude, I need something to help me concentrate. I have to take a really big test and then I can forget it all. I have to take the bar — have you heard of that? It’s for being a lawyer.
Employee: Um, well, we have this herbal product to increase the blood flow to your brain.
Spazzed customer: Can I smoke pot with it?
Employee: Uh, sure.
Spazzed customer: Great. You take credit cards?
Employee: Yeah.
Spazzed customer: Great, thanks [leaves the store without buying anything].

–GNC, Astoria

Please Stop Talking So We Can Have Sex

High chick: Now, I love ass, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not all I think about when I think about baseball. I mostly think about triangles.
Dude: Huh?
High chick: Baseball.
Dude: Triangles.
High chick: They’re both trapezoids.
Dude: What the fuck?
High chick: I don’t know. My point is, I hate girls.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Bruce

Voyage to the Islands

Stoner #1 reading Hustler: Hey… Hey, man, check this out — I… like… it… when… my… boyfriend? … And… I… do… it… in… the… Oh, bathroom!
Stoner #2: You alright man?
Stoner #1: I can’t read… or… something.
Stoner #2: I never read Hustler. There’s no point, man. Right?
Stoner #1: I have no idea, but it’s hot.
Stoner #2: You wanna get some weed?
Stoner #1: Is there weed in [reads screen] … Ronkork? Rangenkem? Bombonkama? Uh…
Stoner #2: Ronkonkoma?
Stoner #1: Yeah!

–Penn Station

The DEA Endorses Wednesday One-liners

Sorority girl: No, really. My brother took acid, thought he could fly, and jumped out our second story window. This really happened. –Columbia University Library Overheard by: Michael Niederman Hipster guy: I love fried chicken and cocaine. –11th & B Guy: Yeah, alcohol…It’s my anti-drug. –45th & 9th Overheard by: teo