Woman: Does anyone have something I could write with?
Mother: I do! One second.
Woman: Great, thanks.
Mother: Be careful, it’s my most favoritest pen.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Jess Kimball
Archive for the ‘Strangers’ Category
New York’s Only Republican
Woman: Did you just watch the Presidential debate?
Man: Yes, we did.
Woman: Are you Kerry supporters?
Man: No, of course not. Kerry is the worst presidential candidate in the last 50 years and he would be the worst president ever.
Woman: Oh, do you want to come to Good Morning America tomorrow and stand outside, waving Kerry signs?
Man: I was being entirely serious. I hate Kerry.
The woman looks at him, unbelieving, and walks away in silence.
–Outside the San Marcos bar, East Village
Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
Two women are seated across from each other on the train. One has a long object in a soft-sided container.
First woman: Is that a bassoon?
Second woman: No. It’s a sword.
–C Train
I Tried Jumping, but Without Success
Woman to stranger: Do you know how to get on the High Line?
Man: No, I never use it.
–Chelsea, Under the High Line
Overheard by: Cheryl
Macbeth: Is This Emily I See Before Me, Her Handle Toward My Hand?
Drunk man: What's your name?
Sober woman: Emily.
Drunk man: Can we talk, Emily?
Sober woman: Sorry, I have to go call my boyfriend.
Drunk man, clutching heart: Dagger! Your name should be “dagger.”
–Coming Out of UWS Bar
Overheard by: That's cold
I Hear Christ's Gotten a Lot Of Work Done.
Man preaching on subway: And even Michael Jackson has to answer to Jesus Christ himself.
Rush hour passenger: He'd never recognize him.
–F Train
Overheard by: Thom Cohen
Your Editors Had to Look This One Up.
Religious promoter: Jesus is the eternal savior! Only He can save you from the doom that you see in the movies that destroy New York!
Passerby: May I ask where you're from?
Religious promoter: Um… Union City.
Passerby: Go the fuck home!
–Times Square
Yeah, but You Have a Thing for Lesbians.
Dude: Anne Frank looks really hot.
Random woman : What's the matter with you? Don't you have any respect?
Dude: Oh, sorry. With all due respect, Anne Frank is really hot.
–Prospect Park
The Bic Commercial That Was Too Edgy, Even for Europe
Baby-voiced bag lady to pretty girl across from her: Excuse me, miss, do you have a pen?
Girl: No. I'm sorry, I don't.
Baby-voiced bag lady : A pen! A pen!
(pretty girl shakes head)
Baby-voiced bag lady : A pencil?
Girl: I'm sorry, no.
(baby-voiced bag lady pulls Bic pen crack pipe out of bag and lights it. Train car quickly empties)
–C Train
Overheard by: sarette
What's Your Sign, Wednesday One-Liner?
Young man to pretty girl with glasses eating hot dog: That hot dog matches your beautiful glasses!
–Hot Dog Stand, 34th St
Overheard by: gothchick
Dude to girls crossing street: Hey, miss ladies! Youse look nice out!
–Ludow & Stanton
Overheard by: M & J
Guy to girl passing by: El sexy-o! I know how to say it in Spanish, I wanna know how to say it in Caucasian!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Crazy guy: Hey, Snow White! Come talk to Black Beauty. Cuz you know vanilla and chocolate make a good fudge, girl.
–W 110th St
Overheard by: Ashley
Bro standing in sidewalk, harassing passing girls: Hello! I've been waiting all my life for you! Hello, where have you been all my life? Hello, I eat pussy. Hello, I've got money. Hello?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee