Guy to girl: All I know about your baby is that as long as it's in your stomach, it's not gonna be underfed. I wouldn't be surprised if it came out with a chicken wing in its mouth.
–MacDougal & 3rd St
Overheard by: Jaco
Older hipster man, in front of organic section: So these eggs are tortured chicks, and these are non-tortured chicks… Hmmm…
–Fairmay Market, Red Hook
Overheard by: RStein
Black guy: Yo, black guy! Where is the nearest place I can get fried chicken? I want some fried chicken and grape soda!
–Union Square
Random guy on escalator: Fuck anime, I can't wait for that juicy buffalo chicken sandwich.
–Kinokuniya Bookstore
Overheard by: Chris Coll
Archive for the ‘Strangers’ Category
…When I Have My Hazmat Suit with Me
Hobo sitting against building: Hey! You!
Girl walking by: Yeah?
Hobo: Want to go jump in the East River with me?
Girl, stopping and looking at him: Not a bad idea. Maybe later.
–7th St & Ave B
Alcoholism: The Universal Language.
Gay guy: Day drinking today was so good.
Female friend: Yeah, I love day drinking.
Gay guy: I want to make day drinking into a job.
Passerby, walking the opposite way: Hey, me too!
(all high five, then proceed onwards)
–14th St & Ave A
Where's a Wednesday One-Liner When You Need One?
Cop: Man, I'm computer illiterate… That's why the NYPD is perfect for me.
–Police Precinct, Bronx
Overheard by: afrocurl
Cop car to man in the street, after using sirens: How stupid are you? Move out of the way!
(crowd cheers)
–Thompson & Bleecker
Overheard by: onlycoolcop
Loudspeaker on police car to pedestrian: What are you doing!?
–Houston & Broadway
Woman with missing teeth, grabbing tourist and yelling: I'm not a cop! I'm a ho!
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: Jo Ann Chism
Though, to Be Fair, on the Way Here a Hobo Spit on Me.
Bratty kid to mother: I hate this! I'd rather we went to the zoo instead.
Unrelated older teenage girl: I'd rather be here than have a llama spit on me at the zoo.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: KJPepper
…According to the Latest Balanced Report from Fox News.
Guy #1: Has Mark* confirmed that he's coming?
Guy #2: I dunno, I haven't checked Facebook in a while.
Passerby: That's cuz you're gay.
–12th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: casey
Wednesday Funbag-Liners
Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Doesn't she know that the "having big boobs" thing is, like, not in anymore?
–86th St
Overheard by: Kevin
Girl to another: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off!
–Charles & 4th
Overheard by: Eric
20-something guy, singing: I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna find my motherfucking sock, 'cause I don't know where it is. I wanna touch some boobs…
–Pratt Institute
Angry hobo to college chick with big boobs zipping up her jacket: Don't put them titties away!
–5th & 21st
Elderly woman to husband: I keep my business in my bosom!
–Carnegie Deli
…So You Probably Shouldn't Insult Kuwait That Way.
Woman, gesturing angrily at new subway map: Did you see this? Look at this color! It looks like Kuwait! When I draw maps that's the color I use for desert wasteland!
Bystander: Well, it is Queens…
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Without Peer Pressure, the Fashion Industry Would Soon Collapse
Girl #1: I kind of just wanna wear what I wore last night.
Girl #2: I mean, we didn't take any pictures.
Girls standing nearby: Dirtyyyyyyyyy.
–Duane Reade
Why Does Nobody Want You 'til You Commit to Somebody Else?
Cute 20-something girl to friend, excitedly: He's not tall. He's not macho.
Tall, macho guy #1 nearby: You don't need him!
Tall, macho guy #2, sitting with him: You don't need him!
–55th St & 5th Ave