Archive for the ‘Strangers’ Category

With New Stereotypes Arriving Daily, It’s Hard to Keep Up

Black bagger: I got to get me a soos. Man, I need a soos. Honey, you know where I could get me one?
Black woman paying for groceries: No.
Black bagger: Oh, hey I bet this guy knows. Hey guy! You! Do you know where I could find me a massage therapist?
White guy in line: I have no idea.
Black bagger: Oh, damn; I thought you’d know. –Supermarket, Nostrand Ave, Stuyvesant Town Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

We're All Nine Meals Away from Being Wednesday One-Liners

Black hobo to rush-hour crowd: So, did ya' hear now Obama's president they gonna tear down the Statue of Liberty? Yeah, they gonna put up a new statue–one o' Aunt Jemima!" –Shuttle Train GCT Overheard by: Mrs. Butterworth Hobo: Hey, kids! I wish I was a kid again. Then I'd have a hundred million dollars! –Henry St, Brooklyn Heights Overheard by: Jesse Hobo to clerk: Don't worry, baby, I'll take care of the Gaza Strip. –Deli, 45th & 3rd Overheard by: LP Hobo to girl with boxing gloves attached to her backpack: Hi, there! Give a little money to help the homeless? (silence) I'll take anything but a punch in the face! –Astor & Lafayette Overheard by: Andi C. Shouting hobo: The family that scratches their butts together has smelly fingers! –34th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: Kramer Hobo crossing street and pushing shopping cart: Hi ho Silver! –23rd St & Park Ave

You Can Make an Excellent Bread by Grinding Their Bones

(crowd of shrieking teenage girls outside Trump Hotel)
Ditzy woman #1 shouting: Look at that! Stupid people protesting! What idiots. Why would they be protesting?
Ditzy woman #2: Yeah. Lame!
Bystander: They aren't protesting. They are waiting for The Jonas Brothers to leave the hotel. –Outside Trump International Hotel Overheard by: Annie in MN

Cute, Cuter, Wednesday-One-Linest

Portly young woman browsing dress for herself, nonchalantly: Oh, this is cute, but too bad it doesn't come in fat-ass-bitch size. –Target, Brooklyn 20-something girl to boyfriend: Oh my god, you are so cute I just wanna punch you in the face! –135th & 5th Overheard by: Howzith Middle-aged woman on cell exiting bus: You have a blessed day! (to phone) No, not you! I was talking to the bus driver–he was really cute! –Brooklyn Overheard by: B44 rider Student fundraiser to passerby: Taiwan needs help! Hey, you're cute enough to help Taiwan! –Columbia University Overheard by: L-Dubbs Cute blonde to friend at gym: Oh my god! Look! That looks like a cuter version of this bald guy I slept with in a closet over the summer! –14th & 3rd Overheard by: Rob Lovett

They’ll Have Their Own Reality Show within a Year

Black lady: Listen, you camel jockey, I don’t care what you say, you was wrong to do that!
Middle Eastern man: Oh, shut up, you stupid nigga! I’m tired of hearing your shit! Go fuck yourself!
Black woman passerby: Oh my god, who the hell are you to be talking to my beautiful black sister like that?! You ain’t got no right to talk to anybody black like that!
Black lady: Bitch, who the shit are you? Don’t be talkin’ to my husband like that! –W 4th St station Overheard by: Mawg Spawn