Archive for the ‘Strangers’ Category

What a Dump

Men #1 & #2: What is that?!
Man #3: Yep, yep, that’s me! Sorry, sorry! It’s me. I just don’t understand it — I’ve never shit my pants in my entire life!
Man #4: That’s disgusting!
Man #3: Sorry, sorry.
Elevator operator: Welcome to New York City.

–Elevator at W Hotel, Union Square

Macbeth: Is This Emily I See Before Me, Her Handle Toward My Hand?

Drunk man: What's your name?
Sober woman: Emily.
Drunk man: Can we talk, Emily?
Sober woman: Sorry, I have to go call my boyfriend.
Drunk man, clutching heart: Dagger! Your name should be “dagger.”

–Coming Out of UWS Bar

Overheard by: That's cold

The Bic Commercial That Was Too Edgy, Even for Europe

Baby-voiced bag lady to pretty girl across from her: Excuse me, miss, do you have a pen?
Girl: No. I'm sorry, I don't.
Baby-voiced bag lady : A pen! A pen!
(pretty girl shakes head)
Baby-voiced bag lady
: A pencil?

Girl: I'm sorry, no.
(baby-voiced bag lady pulls Bic pen crack pipe out of bag and lights it. Train car quickly empties)

–C Train

Overheard by: sarette