PetCo Woman: Oops, sorry to bump into you. Watch out, I might be going into your pants!
PetCo Guy: I wasn’t complaining. As long as you tip me.
–PetCo, Union Square
Archive for the ‘Strippers’ Category
And Wag My Finger Disapprovingly at Them.
Old Jewish lady #1: Maybe today we should go to Flashdancers.
Old Jewish lady #2: Oh yes, yes, I could look at some ta-tas.
–70th & 3rd
Overheard by: liz
Let Me Guess– You Don't Understand It?
Doofy man: My stripper friend has a tattoo on her back.
Woman: Oh, really..?
Doofy man: Yeah, and she said you can only understand it if you do me from the back. (laughs)
–Inwood Dog Park
Overheard by: infinite
The Lost Scene from Stand By Me
Boy #1: I'll strip for a dollar.
Boy #2: That shit ain't legal.
Boy #3: It's legal in my book!
–125th St
To Be Fair, He Proposed to a Stripper.
Guy #1: I used to know the price of a bag of weed. Now I know the price of a pound of New Zealand apples.
Guy #2: Yeah, I know. I used to know the price of a lap dance from a good stripper. Now I know the price of an engagement ring.
Guy #1: What happened to you?
–33rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Todd
At This Point in Time, I Have No Recollection Of Those Wednesday One-Liners
Girl: I only remember things when I insult them!
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
College dude: I remember this place… We were here last night right before I blacked out!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Amanda
Girl on cell: Okay, if you're stopping by my house, remember to bring that shirt you borrowed from me. Mmm-hmm. By the way, your husband wants to get it on with another dude.
–Union Square
Woman on cell: Alright, honey, have a fun bachelor party. Just promise me you'll get shit-faced, fall-on-your-ass drunk so you can't remember any of those strippers. Okay?
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Wait. What?
For Some Reason, It Makes Casting Directors Lose Respect for You
Girl: You should go first, then you can sleep through the rest of them.
Guy: Well, I'm not stripping anymore, so that's good.
–Broadway & Prince, Soho
Overheard by: TJ
Lap Dancing's Gotta Be More Fun Than Lap Running
White girl: Ohmigod, I totally want to take stripping lessons! But, I'm not, like, a slut or anything.
Black girl: Wait, wait. You're not a slut but you want to be a stripper?
White girl: What? I bet it's really good exercise!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
But She Wears the Cutest Little Crotchless Overalls
Dude #1: Paint stripper?
Dude #2: Prostitute stripper.
Dude #1: Ohhhhhhh.
–8th Ave & 52nd St
Overheard by: Chauncy
My AA Sponsor Says to Work on One Vice at a Time
Man: Baby, I told you I had a meeting…
Girl: Yeah, but you didn't say it was at a strip club!
–East Village