16-year-old girl on cell: So like, for Halloween my mom told me about this strip club we could go to…
–110th & Central Park West
Overheard by: sophie Balis-Harris
Drunk stumbling Yankee meathead to fellow meatheads: Yo! Let's get some fucking strippers! I don't give a fuck about my girlfriend! (pauses and looks around) If I drop any more beer on this woman… (spills half his cup on her back) Ah, fuck.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: seat 12 section 23
20-something woman on cell: What, you had sex with that stripper?!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Liz
Drunk suit: Yeah…we did it up fo' my son's 18th birfday. He be graduatin and all this year, so we sprung fo' a stripper.
–Q67 Bus
Overheard by: Kate
Teen screaming into cell: Stripper. (pause) No, stripper!
–Little Italy
Archive for the ‘Strippers’ Category
Who Needs a Television When You Have New York?
Deranged woman singing “Greatest Love of All”: “They can't take away my diiiiiiiiignity…”
Passenger: She doing a stripper dance on that pole! Looks like they took her dignity!
Deranged woman: Mommase, mommasa, momma makosa.
Passenger: She bilingual! But she got her dignity back!
–2 Train
Overheard by: never touch the pole
Not to Mention Website Editors
Bartender: You're in it, right?
Customer: Yeah. I usually do work when I drink. I need to be drunk when I code. Strippers and programmers…I don't know why.
–P&G Bar
Overheard by: Holiday Guts!
I Was Sick for Take Your Daughter to Work Day.
Long Island girl: 42nd St is where there is lots of prostitution, right?
Female friend: What?
Long Island girl: Yeah, I thought I heard that 42nd St was where all the prostitutes were?
Female friend: Ummm…that's like Times Square. It's a major touristy spot.
Male friend: Maybe there's an occasional strip club?
Long Island girl: Oh my god, I really want to go to a strip club–I've never been to one before!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Amused
Headline by: 1310 (formerly SNA)
Runners-Up:
· “As the Economic Crisis Worsens, Margie Becomes Increasingly Desperate for a Job.” – Carla
· “I Thought Mass Tourism WAS Whoring Yourself Out ?” – Cass
· “If Parents Don’t Have the Sex Industry Talk, Someone Else Will” – space coyote
· “Long Islanders and Tourists Have Become One.” – Fresca
· “That’s How They Get New Recruits” – Skwerl!
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Speaking Of Going Down
Student #1, looking at financial data: Oh, crap, the dollar went down again.
Student #2: Why do you care if the dollar goes down?
Student #1: Because I want to go to Canada and pay less for strippers.
–Cooper Union
Overheard by: Yasha
Little People–Big Wednesday One-Liners
Greasy guy on cell: Yeah, there was this whole big to-do. They had all these little midgets running around–it was a whole Willy Wonka thing going on.
–42nd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Aren't They Called Little People?
Midget on mobile: Man, you don't know how tough it is, these little women are tough, they know what they want… Yeah, yeah… The are like tigers, they'll eat you up!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: JT
Flyer guy: Comedy show, folks–we got midgets!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: BeccaGo
Guy: High-five if you like midgets and drugs!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Shannon
Suit on cell: Yeah, yeah, we're gonna do it big for my birthday. No I'm thinking more like midget strippers…eh, I haven't decided what I want it to be. (pause) Oh yeah, sorry, not "it," "him" or "her." No, I think dwarfs have magical powers, that's the deal. Not racist, dwarfist maybe.
–Chinatown Bus
Overheard by: Evan
Drunk guy with group of friends: I'm sorry I hit you, I thought I was Irish and you were four feet tall.
–41st & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Glad I'm not short
Plus, It's a Unique Résumé Bullet
20-something girl to stripper: Wow, it's really your first night?
Stripper: Yeahh. It's pretty cool. Just gave my first lap dance.
20-something girl: Oh my god! How exciting!
Stripper: I mean, I gotta pay the tuition bills. My summer internship at Goldman Sachs doesn't pay so I had to make some cash somehow.
–Cheetah's Strip Club
Strippers With Stretch Marks Are More of a Niche Market
Girl #1: She don’t have no stretch marks or nothin’.
Girl #2: If I looked like her, I’d be able to work at Lace.
Girl #1 (enviously): Lace…
–46th St, Astoria
Eminem’s Also from Michigan, So You Do the Math
Guy from Michigan: That stripper robbed me.
Cop: How so?
Guy from Michigan: She said if I gave her $150 she would jerk me off. I payed her the $150 and she didn’t do it. I want her arrested.
Cop: Is everyone from Michigan an asshole or just you?
–Show World
No Wednesday One-Liners in the Champagne Room
Soccer mom: In two weeks, my knitting circle’s going to the strip club.
–28th & Lex
Girl: I want to become a stripper so that I can see Patti LuPone in Gypsy every night.
–St. James Theatre
Overheard by: Erin
Loud NYU chick: Listen to the opening guitar riff of Voodoo child. It makes you want to be a stripper!
–Bobst Library
Overheard by: evil em
Six-year-old boy to parents: Oohh! Zombie strippers! Let’s see that!
–Port Authority