Archive for the ‘Strippers’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners: Great for Bachelor Parties!

16-year-old girl on cell: So like, for Halloween my mom told me about this strip club we could go to…

–110th & Central Park West

Overheard by: sophie Balis-Harris

Drunk stumbling Yankee meathead to fellow meatheads: Yo! Let's get some fucking strippers! I don't give a fuck about my girlfriend! (pauses and looks around) If I drop any more beer on this woman… (spills half his cup on her back) Ah, fuck.

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: seat 12 section 23

20-something woman on cell: What, you had sex with that stripper?!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Liz

Drunk suit: Yeah…we did it up fo' my son's 18th birfday. He be graduatin and all this year, so we sprung fo' a stripper.

–Q67 Bus

Overheard by: Kate

Teen screaming into cell: Stripper. (pause) No, stripper!

–Little Italy

I Was Sick for Take Your Daughter to Work Day.

Long Island girl: 42nd St is where there is lots of prostitution, right?
Female friend: What?
Long Island girl: Yeah, I thought I heard that 42nd St was where all the prostitutes were?
Female friend: Ummm…that's like Times Square. It's a major touristy spot.
Male friend: Maybe there's an occasional strip club?
Long Island girl: Oh my god, I really want to go to a strip club–I've never been to one before!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Amused

Headline by: 1310 (formerly SNA)

Runners-Up:
· “As the Economic Crisis Worsens, Margie Becomes Increasingly Desperate for a Job.” – Carla

· “I Thought Mass Tourism WAS Whoring Yourself Out ?” – Cass
· “If Parents Don’t Have the Sex Industry Talk, Someone Else Will” – space coyote
· “Long Islanders and Tourists Have Become One.” – Fresca
· “That’s How They Get New Recruits” – Skwerl!


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Little People–Big Wednesday One-Liners

Greasy guy on cell: Yeah, there was this whole big to-do. They had all these little midgets running around–it was a whole Willy Wonka thing going on.

–42nd & Park Ave

Overheard by: Aren't They Called Little People?

Midget on mobile: Man, you don't know how tough it is, these little women are tough, they know what they want… Yeah, yeah… The are like tigers, they'll eat you up!

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: JT

Flyer guy: Comedy show, folks–we got midgets!

–Herald Square

Overheard by: BeccaGo

Guy: High-five if you like midgets and drugs!

–42nd & 7th

Overheard by: Shannon

Suit on cell: Yeah, yeah, we're gonna do it big for my birthday. No I'm thinking more like midget strippers…eh, I haven't decided what I want it to be. (pause) Oh yeah, sorry, not "it," "him" or "her." No, I think dwarfs have magical powers, that's the deal. Not racist, dwarfist maybe.

–Chinatown Bus

Overheard by: Evan

Drunk guy with group of friends: I'm sorry I hit you, I thought I was Irish and you were four feet tall.

–41st & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Glad I'm not short

Plus, It's a Unique Résumé Bullet

20-something girl to stripper: Wow, it's really your first night?
Stripper: Yeahh. It's pretty cool. Just gave my first lap dance.
20-something girl: Oh my god! How exciting!
Stripper: I mean, I gotta pay the tuition bills. My summer internship at Goldman Sachs doesn't pay so I had to make some cash somehow.

–Cheetah's Strip Club

Eminem’s Also from Michigan, So You Do the Math

Guy from Michigan: That stripper robbed me.
Cop: How so?
Guy from Michigan: She said if I gave her $150 she would jerk me off. I payed her the $150 and she didn’t do it. I want her arrested.
Cop: Is everyone from Michigan an asshole or just you?

–Show World

No Wednesday One-Liners in the Champagne Room

Soccer mom: In two weeks, my knitting circle’s going to the strip club.

–28th & Lex

Girl: I want to become a stripper so that I can see Patti LuPone in Gypsy every night.

–St. James Theatre

Overheard by: Erin

Loud NYU chick: Listen to the opening guitar riff of Voodoo child. It makes you want to be a stripper!

–Bobst Library

Overheard by: evil em

Six-year-old boy to parents: Oohh! Zombie strippers! Let’s see that!

–Port Authority