Archive for the ‘Strippers’ Category

I Was Sick for Take Your Daughter to Work Day.

Long Island girl: 42nd St is where there is lots of prostitution, right?
Female friend: What?
Long Island girl: Yeah, I thought I heard that 42nd St was where all the prostitutes were?
Female friend: Ummm…that's like Times Square. It's a major touristy spot.
Male friend: Maybe there's an occasional strip club?
Long Island girl: Oh my god, I really want to go to a strip club–I've never been to one before! –6 Train Overheard by: Amused Headline by: 1310 (formerly SNA) Runners-Up:
· “As the Economic Crisis Worsens, Margie Becomes Increasingly Desperate for a Job.” – Carla
· “I Thought Mass Tourism WAS Whoring Yourself Out ?” – Cass
· “If Parents Don’t Have the Sex Industry Talk, Someone Else Will” – space coyote
· “Long Islanders and Tourists Have Become One.” – Fresca
· “That’s How They Get New Recruits” – Skwerl!
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Little People–Big Wednesday One-Liners

Greasy guy on cell: Yeah, there was this whole big to-do. They had all these little midgets running around–it was a whole Willy Wonka thing going on. –42nd & Park Ave Overheard by: Aren't They Called Little People? Midget on mobile: Man, you don't know how tough it is, these little women are tough, they know what they want… Yeah, yeah… The are like tigers, they'll eat you up! –Grand Central Station Overheard by: JT Flyer guy: Comedy show, folks–we got midgets! –Herald Square Overheard by: BeccaGo Guy: High-five if you like midgets and drugs! –42nd & 7th Overheard by: Shannon Suit on cell: Yeah, yeah, we're gonna do it big for my birthday. No I'm thinking more like midget strippers…eh, I haven't decided what I want it to be. (pause) Oh yeah, sorry, not "it," "him" or "her." No, I think dwarfs have magical powers, that's the deal. Not racist, dwarfist maybe. –Chinatown Bus Overheard by: Evan Drunk guy with group of friends: I'm sorry I hit you, I thought I was Irish and you were four feet tall. –41st & 2nd Ave Overheard by: Glad I'm not short

Plus, It's a Unique Résumé Bullet

20-something girl to stripper: Wow, it's really your first night?
Stripper: Yeahh. It's pretty cool. Just gave my first lap dance.
20-something girl: Oh my god! How exciting!
Stripper: I mean, I gotta pay the tuition bills. My summer internship at Goldman Sachs doesn't pay so I had to make some cash somehow. –Cheetah's Strip Club

Eminem’s Also from Michigan, So You Do the Math

Guy from Michigan: That stripper robbed me.
Cop: How so?
Guy from Michigan: She said if I gave her $150 she would jerk me off. I payed her the $150 and she didn’t do it. I want her arrested.
Cop: Is everyone from Michigan an asshole or just you? –Show World

No Wednesday One-Liners in the Champagne Room

Soccer mom: In two weeks, my knitting circle’s going to the strip club. –28th & Lex Girl: I want to become a stripper so that I can see Patti LuPone in Gypsy every night. –St. James Theatre Overheard by: Erin Loud NYU chick: Listen to the opening guitar riff of Voodoo child. It makes you want to be a stripper! –Bobst Library Overheard by: evil em Six-year-old boy to parents: Oohh! Zombie strippers! Let’s see that! –Port Authority

Wednesday One-Liners Were “Working Late”

Drunk woman: I won’t sleep with people when I’m drunk. I’m not like that. I get drunk and I punch people in the face… I’m totally against infidelity. I can’t deal with that. I mean, I’ve been caught cheating lots of times, and it totally sucks. –44th & 8th Overheard by: Caitlin Guy: So, he’s pissed off because he’s dating this fucking hot stripper — she’s, like, West of freaky — and he can’t tell anybody because they’re all friends with his fiancé and would tell her. –Brooklyn-bound D train, Atlantic Ave stop Overheard by: just visiting Girl on cell: Sorry, I’m on my way to the airport. It was either go to Michigan or cheat on my boyfriend… No, I’m going to Michigan. –125th & Broadway Overheard by: Cat Darcy German girl, after breaking kiss with another chick: Don’t worry about my husband too much… –Frost St, Greenpoint Overheard by: jayloo Black man on cell: … So I put my hand between her legs… Nah, she wasn’t wearing any panties… She’s mad cool, but she’s married… –Q46 bus Overheard by: Izabela Ghetto mama: … And I said to her, ‘No, I did not fuck yo’ husband. But I did let him eat my pussy!’ –Nostrand Ave Overheard by: Kris S.

Wednesday One-Liners Write Off Nipple Tassels on Their Income Taxes

Father to son: Well, I guess she’ll just have to become a stripper… –Times Square Overheard by: Lezbitron Girl on phone: I guess we should go ahead with the strippers and do it. –Whole Foods, Columbus Circle Overheard by: MG Middle-aged woman: I don’t know. I mean, can you put a 20 in the G-string? –Metro-North, Harlem Line Frat boy: Hey, man, belly dancers ain’t strippers. I learned that the hard way. –AMC Theaters, Lincoln Center Girl to pal: Well, where do you want your ashes spread? A strip club? –12th & 3rd Overheard by: Talia