Archive for the ‘Students’ Category

Do You Take This Wednesday to Be Your Lawfully Wedded One-Liner?

Grad student: Translation: Will you marry me? Or: I don’t want germs. –Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle Dude: … My wedding [mumble] gonna take away my clothes, so I’m going to need a tear-away tuxedo. –53rd & Broadway Overheard by: Jo Chick to another: Yeah, he’s the one who wouldn’t marry her because she was too pale. –Starbucks Blonde: … And I’m really not sure, because he said he shouldn’t unless we are married, but that it’s okay, we could just do it and then he could just confess his sins or something like that… –Broadway & Prince Overheard by: Dan Lesbian to group: So, what is the reason behind getting married, besides pretending to be heterosexual? Exactly — presents! –Party, Brooklyn Overheard by: Jude

Wednesday One-Liners and Tigers and Bears–Oh, My!

Young woman to another: But do you know how big a horse dick is? –5th Ave & Carroll, Park Slope Girl: I'm really tired. I'm, like, an animal activist right now. –Parking Lot, Broadway Mall Overheard by: Lysa Student: I'm not that sensitive. I can watch those videos where they like, torture the animal or whatever, and then I'll go eat it. –Cardozo Law School Asian girl: Does this make me look like a sad Panda? –NYU Dining Hall Columbia girl: I'd never have asked if I knew he was the one who'd killed it. But I didn't suspect him. Who'd spend their time strangling a gerbil? –Columbia University Overheard by: Who'd have thought? Guido to friend: Yo, it smells like a skunk burped up a hot dog. –Penn Station Lady on speaker: If you have an animal, please do not put it through the X-ray. –LaGuardia Airport

Wednesday’s Gonna Have a Little One-Liner

Angry frat boy: Oh, so now I’m the bad guy? Let’s talk about you and your irrational pregnancy! –Grand Central Tween to friends: So, do you think I should get an abortion? I mean, I’m not even pregnant! –TGI Fridays Overheard by: Sara Giggling chick: When you get pregnant, the only things that swell are your breasts! –8th & Broadway Overheard by: Hannah Female security guard to friend: I don’t think I’m pregnant. There’s no way I can be pregnant, because I was only having light sex. –Duane Reade, 23rd & 6th Overheard by: jmike Happy lady on cell: Guess what?! I’m pregnant! Yes, with a baby this time! –96th St station Overheard by: Kind of Confused 20-something chick: If I get pregnant, I am so suing Fresh Direct. –Columbia University Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Someone Who’s Willing to Go Beyond “It’s Complicated”

NYU girl to friend: So then he like bitched me out, hardcore, in a text. And he didn’t talk to me for like a day so I was just like, “Ugh, whatever.” But then he ended our relationship on facebook! And I was just like, “Oh my god!” I need someone who’s mature, y’know?
Friend: Oh… Yeah. Totally. –NYU Overheard by: Clook

Scarlett Johansson's Wearing Wednesday One-Liners This Season

(Asian tourist walks onto subway with large panda-head shaped hat)
Random guy: Take off that silly ass hat! –Uptown 1 Train Guy: When I wear my other coat, I look like a yak. –Mott St Overheard by: robin Thug to friend: I totally know fashion designers. I know who Hill-finger is. –Thompson Street, SoHo Drunk guy to orthodox Jew: Nice lid. –Near Herald Square Guy walking out of subway: Then she came in and told me to put the mask on. –6 Train Overheard by: Sarah History teacher to class: Now, if you want a decent straw hat, do not make one. –Millennium High School Overheard by: Adriana