Archive for the ‘Students’ Category

What about his Arch-rival, Weezie Jefferson?

Student #1: Next question.
Student #2: Of the Federalist writers, who was the most suspicious of majority rule?
Student #1: Hamilton, right? He had the toughest stand on public rule.
Student #3: Wasn’t so tough against Raymond Burr.
Student #2: What?
Student #3: You know. The dude who shot him.
Student #1: Aaron. Aaron Burr. Dumb fuck. –4 train Overheard by: Terence

It Rubs the Wednesday on Its Skin, or Else It Gets the One-Liners Again

Woman on cell: You did what? No. No, the key is with the handcuffs.

–Barnes & Noble, Union Square

Overheard by: argonaut

Neighbor heard through thin dorm wall: Yeahhhhh, I'm a bad boy. You wanna spank me?

–Pratt Institute

NYU girl to friend: I think Jesus wore latex.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Mimi

Hippie woman on cell: Okay, why don't you just untie each other and come on down so we can talk about this?

–50th St & Park Ave

Except People Actually Read Him

Male NYU student: Sound bites! I mean… Fucking sound bites! And that's all they have! These people don't actually know what they are talking about!
Female NYU student: (hesitant murmur of agreement)
Male NYU student, stopping to look at coffee table book: Oh man! Hunter S. Thompson! Have you read him? One of the great… beat poets.

–The Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: Ben

The Teachings Of Wednesday One-Liners

Professor: I have nothing against horse rapists, generally speaking.

–New School University

Overheard by: Evan Gilmer

Psychology professor: Chocolate may make you feel good, but cocaine will make you feel a lot better!

–Barnard College

Elderly history professor: I'm not sure of the consequences of what I'm saying, but I'm sure it's terribly important.

–Pratt Institute

Serious professor, on Freud: What's the matter, Anne, are you thinking about penis envy?

–Classroom, Hunter College

Overheard by: Rara

Bearded professor: He drew an eye on the bird and asked me "do you know what this means?" (short pause) "I swallow." What do you say to that?

–94th St & Broadway

Overheard by: DI

Elderly professor: You two ladies in the back want to cut the bullshit and listen to my brilliance?

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee