Woman: My dad controls all the money in the house, to the point where if my mom wants to go shopping she has to talk to him. She’d said, ‘You really need to go to the grocery. Your daughter only had a protein shake to eat today.’ He said, ‘Well, she needs to lose weight anyway.’ It’s crazy. That’s the kind of shit we had to deal with growing up. –29th & Park
Chick: I think a lot about solitary confinement. Like, what would I do all day? –The Gate, Park Slope
College Professor: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Female Student: I have one sister and a twin brother.
College Professor: Are you identical? –American Musical & Dramatic Academy, UWS
Boy, 7: Daddy, I wanna see the Empire State Building.
Father: Sorry, son. That’s way uptown and we’re headed downtown. –48th & Broadway Overheard by: Christopher Mignemi
Two loudmouths point to pretend celebrities to get people out of their way.
Loudmouth #1: Look! There goes Wesley Snipes!
Loudmouth #2: Look! There goes Eddie Murphy!
Loudmouth #1: Look! There goes George Bush!
Loudmouth #2: Where? I’ll beat his ass. –7th Ave & 34th St.
Idiot, 50s: That’s the one argument against capital punishment that cannot be refuted. If you do it, someone is dead. –Westway Diner, 9th Ave
Guy: When I walk, I drift right. That’s why I kept bumping into you like that. –6th Ave & 18th St.
Guy: …so then she tells me she’s a call girl.
Girl: Oh, I did that for a while. Back in high school.
Guy: You were a call girl?
Girl: Yeah, for a little while. It sucked.
Girl: Yeah. Pay was okay, but it just wasn’t worth it. Everybody always yelling at you and hanging up on you.
Guy: Hanging up on you?
Guy: Because you were a call girl?
Guy: Like a telemarketer?
Guy: Oh. Well, this girl wasn’t…that kind of call girl. –F Train Overheard by: Heather
Old Southern Man: …so I said, if yer stoopid, you shouldn’t try and show it; you should try and hide it. –Soho NYU Guy: I didn’t wear my moccasins today, Arthur, and I’m still freezing! –W. 13th St. Overheard by: Dan Winckler
Guy #1: I got a cough.
Guy #2: You got a cough?
Guy #1: Yeah, I got one.
Guy #2: I wonder if it’s the same one I got.
Guy #1: It’s a cough. –LES Overheard by: David Bowman