Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category

Just tell him “PLUCK U”! It’s the name of your fucking store!

Crazy customer: So you’re the manager?
Manager: That’s right.
Crazy customer: OK, then I needed to talk to you. Now, I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble. But this order is for my boss and she’s a flat out bitch.
Manager: OK…
Crazy customer: The last time I was here, I ordered your boneless wings. And I got buffalo wings.
Manager: Wow, I’m sorry about that.
Crazy customer: Then I’ve got to go back to the office and hear about it. And your man there wasn’t being helpful at all.
Manager: Well, try to put yourself in his shoes. Sometimes things get really busy and you can get swamped being the only guy at the register, and maybe you’re not as polite as you should be.
Crazy customer: I worked at Wendy’s, McDonald’s AND Kentucky Fried Chicken at the Junction. I took a lot of crap from general managers.
Manager: Right.
Crazy customer: If someone wanted their sandwich upside down, that’s how I gave it to them. I got buffalo wings and then I’ve got to eat it. I don’t want them!
Manager: Well, here’s your order. Thanks for saying something.
Crazy customer: So this is ten boneless wings?
Manager: Yes.
Crazy customer: Thanks. I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble. It’s just that I’m going to hear it from her if it’s wrong, and she’s a bitch. She just called me and she wanted me to get her to downtown Brooklyn in an hour. Excuse me? Do I have a rocketship?
Manager: Right, right.
Crazy customer: So these aren’t buffalo wings, right?
Manager: Ten boneless wings with bleu cheese. –Pluck U., East Village

Teabagging 101

Preteen Boy #1: Get her, fuck her, leave her.
Preteen Boy #2: Is that what you do?
Preteen Boy #1: Hell yeah. Teabagging.
Preteen Boy #2: Teabagging?
Preteen Boy #1: Yeah. Get in and get out. That’s teabagging.
Preteen Boy #2: Ha, ha! Teabagging!
Preteen Boy #1: Hey, how do you spell Utah?
Preteen Boy #2: U… U…
Preteen Boy #1: Tell me how to spell Utah, motherfucker! –Smith/9th St. Station Overheard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy

Tunneldumb and Tunneldumber

Lesbian #1: The G train always takes so long between stops, especially since it’s not going in a tunnel.
Lesbian #2: But it does go through a tunnel.
Lesbian #1: Yeah, but I mean a tunnel under water.
Lesbian #2: Oh, yeah, okay, it’s not going under water.
Lesbian #1: I always wondered how they make those tunnels.
Lesbian #2: They have one of those machines, that goes in circles.
Lesbian #1: Oh, okay…
Lesbian #2: You know, the one that goes in circles really quickly?
Lesbian #1: Yeah… [Pause] But when they build the tunnel in the water, does it go in the water, or under the water?
Lesbian #2: Under the water.
Lesbian #1: Oh, right. –G train