Archive for the ‘Stuyvesant’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners: “Is This Thing On?”

PA system: Leia, please meet your party at the front. Leia, not the princess, please meet your party at the front.

–Bed, Bath & Beyond, 18th & 6th

Overheard by: Rebecca

Announcer over loudspeaker: The time is now one am o'clock!

–Baggage Claim, JFK

Overheard by: Kimmie

Loudspeaker announcement: Attention, all late night shoppers, this is a live announcement. I repeat, this is not a recording! Right now, in our deli department, fully-cooked chickens! Come on over and get your chickens! They're hot! They're fresh! And they were alive this morning!

–Pathmark, Cropsey Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Stacy

Announcement over loudspeaker during class: Hello, I'm sorry for the interruption. Mr Poland Spring, you have to go outside, they're about to tow your truck.

–Stuyvesant High School

Loudspeaker: Good afternoon, East Side. Fag football…oops, I mean "flag football" will meet in the cafeteria immediately following advisory.

–East Side Community High School

It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Wednesday One-Liners

Girl to friend: So last night I hit myself in the eye with my broom while baking lasagna, drunk.

–Blarney Stone Pub

Suit on cell: Oh man, you should definitely ice and elevate that shit.

–AMC Lowes, 68th & Broadway

Overheard by: Jessica Segal

Man in wheelchair to woman pushing him: Remember when I hit that stroller head on and the kid passed out?

–33rd b/w 7th & 8th

Conductor on speaker: Please bring the first aid kit to car three, please bring the first aid kit to car three, a passenger has a bite.

–Train Leaving Penn Station

Teen to friend: And that’s how I got my penis stuck in a pencil sharpener.

–Stuyvesant High School