Archive for the ‘Stuyvesant Town’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Thought Felicity Huffman Deserved that Oscar

Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?

–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave

Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.

–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel

TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: Limey

Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’

–26th St

Overheard by: agrees with that girl

College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?

–114th & Broadway

Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.

–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn

Unless the Men’s Room Was Cold

Queer #1: Ok, so read their body language and tell me if you think they are: 1) on a first date, but may go ahead and fuck tonight; 2) they are on maybe their third or fourth date, but have definitely had each other’s cock in their throats by now; or 3) they are full-on dating and fucking.
Queer #2: They’re on their first date. They’re way too into each other to already be dating.
Queer #1: Nice.
Both at the same time: Who do you think is the top?
Queer #2: Who do you think?
Queer #1: Well, just because white shirt is so hot, I’d want him to be the top. But, as you know, “Man of Steel, Heels of Helium.”
Queer #2: I know… Plus, the other one has to be the top. A bottom would never wear a plaid shirt.

–Nowhere Bar, E 14th Street

Overheard by: Gina Bruce

Unless It’s an Apparition Doing the Molesting, Like That Hot Scene in Ghostbusters

Girl #1: I am so wasted. I got molested by some Mexican at this sleepover party thing.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, I woke up and everyone was fighting cause he touched my boobs. I think there’s some law saying that you can’t molest someone while they’re sleeping.
Girl #2: Actually, I think there’s a law saying you can’t molest someone, period.

–Stuyvesant High School

Overheard by: if walls had ears