Archive for the ‘Stuyvesant’ Category

Poor Winners Are Even Nastier Than Poor Losers

Girl: Oh shit! A dime!
(a stoner boy steps on the dime as the girl goes to pick it up)
Girl
: Hey, could you please move? Hey, you're stepping on a dime! Hey!

(boy drags foot forwards with dime under it, ignoring her)
Girl, trying to lift the boy's foot
: Get off! Get off the dime! Jesus! Hey! You're stepping on a dime! Get off!

(boy slides forward again and the dime slips out. He continues sliding his feet towards a stairway)
Girl (holding up dime triumphantly)
: Yes! A dime! (pointing at boy) You! I will kill your family!


–Stuyvesant High

Overheard by: I love this school

Hey, I Saw the Crude Sketches in the Boys' Restroom Way Before That

(class is watching a science video)
Scientist in the video
: The problem with the big bang is that we know nothing about it. We don't when it banged, why it banged, how it banged, what exactly was being banged…

(entire class laughs)
Smart-ass student
: See, when a man loves a woman…

Smarter-ass student: Please, as if you didn't just learn that last year in bio!

–Stuyvesant High School

Stop Sending Me Self-Help Books and Cher Calendars

Guy #1, shouting to friend: Yo! Where have you been? We need to start!
Guy #2: No, man, I gotta go.
Guy #1: You're so gay.
Guy #2: I know. But that doesn't change anything. I have to get home.
Guy #1: Get back here! Now that you've admitted you're gay, you have to stay here so that we can all help you cope.
Guy #2: Sometimes I don't get you, dude.

–Stuyvesant High

Wednesday One-Liners for LeVar Burton

Chipper, young, possibly gay guy with afro to random woman, after switching seats and moving closer: Sorry to bother you, but I just had to tell you this. I have this book of all these, like, African kings and queens and princesses and stuff. And I just had to tell you that you look just like one of the African queens in it. Like, just like her! Oh, I wish I had the book with me! I would show her to you.

–Q Train

Overheard by: katiek

Super-irate hippie chick in braids, yelling on cell: Thanks to you, everyone thinks I'm a fucking freak. Everyone looks at me like I'm fucking Pearl from the fucking Scarlet Letter!

–Court St & Bergen

Overheard by: Siobhan

Young deli clerk on phone, in confidential tones: William Shakespeare! Shakespeare!

–4th Ave & Bergen St, Boerum Hill

Cockeyed old man in hat to Strand employee: Where are the regular books?

–Strand Bookstore, 12th St & Broadway

Annoying rich girl to friend: So I got a library card so I can read more, but then I realized that I don't like used things and I stopped going.

–Bookstore, 71st St & Lexington

Girl (outside of her AP English classroom): Wait…Huck Finn never had syphilis!

–Stuyvesant High School

Woman to friend helping her find a book: You don't have to worry about giving away the ending. I know what happens to those six million people.

–The Strand