Urban woman: Those little Chinese people never even say “Excuse me”! They’re so fucking goddamn rude! –D Train
Frat boy #1: I’ve been reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Dude, this book makes so much sense. I totally understand women now.
Frat boy #2: Yeah?
Frat boy #1: Yeah. This girl at work, she was all into me and shit and I totally cut her off, it was cold. She was so annoying. I really understand how to deal with women now. It explains all their games and translates what they’re saying.
Frat boy #2: So I’m reading this book about Transylvanian necrophiliacs… –1 Train Overheard by: Suzanne
Old lady: Please stop!
Conductor: I didn’t see you. The train pulls away. Old lady: Fuckhead. –23rd Street F station
Tourist to another, looking at Ellis Island: Look, there is Alcatraz!
–Staten Island Ferry
Little tourist girl to dad: Why are there so many brown people in this city?
–Lexington & 59th St
Tourist: We have made it to the center of the earth!
Overheard by: Lance Torres
Tourist: Wow! Times Square is really busy tonight.
Overheard by: erkala
Teenage tourist: Soooo… It's like a little bus… On rails… That goes in a tunnel?
–42nd & 7th
Woman, as train stops: Mmm-mm… Excuse you!
Younger man: Huh?
Woman: You cut in front of me.
Younger man: How did I cut in front of you? You get up, and the people closer to the door go first. Like on a plane.
Woman: You cut in front of me, and a gentleman never cuts in front of a lady.
Younger man: Right. And a lady doesn't go “mmm-mm… Excuse you!”
–Grand Central Platform
30-something woman with shopping bags: I've decided the theme for my new apartment is “ah!” you know?
Legging-wearing friend: Yeah! How are you going to decorate?
30-something woman with shopping bags: I'm thinking very minimalist, you know, very simple. I'm getting two flat-screen TVs.
Overheard by: Aidan
Preppy white girl, about friend's shirt: I wanna party like a rock star!
Punk guy friend: So you want to play a show, shoot up heroin, fuck a stranger, then do it all again in another state the next night?
Preppy white girl: I don't wanna fuck strangers!
Overheard by: diex-romantic
Thug #1, on downtown platform: Yo, I love you, nigga!
Thug #2, on uptown platform: Yo, don't use the “nigga” word!
Toddler waiting for subway with mom: I need a snack.
Mother: You need a smack!
Overheard by: Danielle
20-something guy on cell: I'm sure she wants to castrate me. (pause) Remember her Asian friend, well… (pause) Yeah, I hit that. (pause, then uncontrollable laugh) I gots the yellow fever!
–59th St & 11th
Chinese brother to sister: All Asians get off at this stop. (looking out window) See? They're all Asian. (pause) Oh, wait, there's one English guy.
–Grand Street Stop, D Train
Overheard by: Justin W
Asian girl on cell: You know how people say all Asians look the same? Well, I realized something today. All white people look the same to me–I honestly can't tell them apart!
20-something Asian girl on cell, in perfect American English: So, I just got welcomed to America for the second time today. Are my clothes that… (with disgust) Asian?
Overheard by: RedShikari