Archive for the ‘Subway Stations’ Category

New York Women Know They're Beautiful

Techie in suit: I mean, there are two reasons. A: it's better.
Meathead friend: Uh-huh.
Techie: A: it's warmer.
Meathead: Uh-huh.
Techie: B: the women there are much more receptive to thinly veiled suggestion.
Meathead: Uh…
Techie: What I mean by that is that they have low self esteem. I do my best work with low self esteem. –14th St & 8th Ave Subway Station Overheard by: Rebecca

Wednesday One-Liners Aren't Just Poor, They're Po'

Preppy guy: They say beggars can't be choosers, which makes sense, because we're choosers. –Madison Square Park Overheard by: Annie Red Table change collector guy: Help feed the homeless of New York! All it takes is a penny and a heart, you fucking assholes. –Times Square Overheard by: Bemused Girl to friend: I thought of you the other day; I saw a homeless man's penis. –Lucky Jack's, Orchard St. Overheard by: Argopelter Horny dude (after being rejected by a girl at the bar): I asked her if she wanted a drink and she gave me the look that I give to homeless people on the subway. –79th & Broadway Guy to girl sitting at a sidewalk cafe: I know, what is with her? She dresses like a homeless person. And not Mary-Kate Olsen homeless but I-think-I-saw-her-passed-out-in-an-alleyway-with-a-heroin-needle-sticking-out-of-her-arm- homeless. –10th St & 2nd Ave Girl, to guy who has just spat on floor: Don't do that! Homeless people sleep there! –6 Train Station

Wednesday One-Liners Need to Leave Eden Eventually

Angry Spanish boyfriend: You know why I'm talking to you like this! Because your boss was sitting there and you probably had no damn clothes on! –Broad Channel Subway Station Girl to friend: Yeah, I can't wait until we take off our clothes and do our make up! –116th & 3rd (20-something couple is walking down the street with arms around each other)
Woman: So were you self-conscious when you took off your clothes in front of the children? –28th & 5th White guy answering cell: Negrooooo… I'm on the Long Island Railroad being completely homosexual… You missed it, completely naked… –LIRR Overheard by: Xavier Five-year-old girl, before performance begins: Are they going to take *all* their clothes off? —Hair, Delacorte Theater Girl to friend: God! I remember when my brother ran into my room naked screaming that he had two buttholes. –Subway, 14th & 1st Overweight middle age white guy to friend: I know, I get it, you like to sit naked in the mud while some guy serenades you on his guitar singing about things I don't believe and can't understand. That's your thing. I prefer hockey. –89th & 4th, Brooklyn

All Wednesday One-Liners and No Action

Dude to woman: You can’t talk about the second dimension, but you can talk about sewing?! –12th & 4th Overheard by: Joy Asian woman to boyfriend: I am not going to talk about having a threesome with you and your clone on the train! –Brooklyn-bound F train Overheard by: Ann Chick on cell: … Talking about the apocalypse, but they were really laid back people. –Barnard College Lady: I can’t even talk to you for seven minutes, and you’re about to be my husband! –Union Square Woman on cell: I know you’re full of muscle relaxants and want to chat, but I can’t talk right now. Just take a picture of it and email it to me. –57th & 6th Overheard by: Withnail Girl: Oh! Funny story — I was talking to my therapist about suicide yesterday… –13th & 6th Overheard by: gigglesnort