Lost-looking chick on cell: Why do they always fuck with the trains on weekends? Don't they know there are stoned people trying to get home?
–Subway Platform, Grand Central
Overheard by: Poogtastic
Loudspeaker dispatcher lady: Hey you! Uptown number 5! You better stop sticking your head out the window and answer me on the radio!
–Uptown 4,5,6 Train, Union Square
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Elegant gentleman, as train starts to depart station: Oh, I didn't realize the train was going to move.
–Crowded Uptown 1 Train
MTA announcement: The uptown 1 train is running.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Krisztina
Dispatcher: The arriving train will be the next train. The arriving train will be the next train.
–G Train, Court Square
Overheard by: Katrink
Old man: I'm coming, train. I'm coming. I'm coming, train, you son of a bitch bastard!
–6 Train
Archive for the ‘Subway Stations’ Category
Everything but War and Straight Marriage Is Now Forbidden
Babysitter: Ok guys, hold my hand.
Six-year-old boy: Holding hands is unnatural.
Babysitter: What? Where did you hear that?
Six-year-old boy: George Bush!
Man walking ahead: Wow, he really does get blamed for everything now.
–1 train, 225th St
Overheard by: bkh
Look, We’re Just Having a Private Moment at the Top of My Lungs
Big black woman to son: I’m gonna smack you so hard, you’re gonna taste it!
Son, wailing: I don’t want to taste it!
Passerby: I don’t want to taste it either.
–74th St-Roosevelt Ave station
Wednesday One-Liners Express Themselves
Woman running down the stairs: Hold the doors! Oh, God, please hold the doors! Please! [Doors close, train pulls away.] Why? Whyyy?!
–A train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Hobo to man running for the train: You better run faster! That’s the last train in the world!
–W 4th Street A/C/E platform
Overheard by: Curly Ku
Student: Yo mama is so dumb that when she needs to take the 4 train, she takes the 2 train twice!
–Brooklyn Tech High School
Overheard by: Gazoo
Tourist to friends: Ok, so, we’re headed downtown right now, and in a couple stops we’ll transfer to the express.
–A train express, between 34th & 42nd
Tourist woman: Why is it called an express train? All it does is skip stops.
–4 train at Fulton St
Chick to guy: Don’t tell me that bull! Don’t pull that on the A train!
–Manhattan-bound A train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: chudoc324
All Wednesday One-Liners and No Action
Dude to woman: You can’t talk about the second dimension, but you can talk about sewing?!
–12th & 4th
Overheard by: Joy
Asian woman to boyfriend: I am not going to talk about having a threesome with you and your clone on the train!
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Overheard by: Ann
Chick on cell: … Talking about the apocalypse, but they were really laid back people.
–Barnard College
Lady: I can’t even talk to you for seven minutes, and you’re about to be my husband!
–Union Square
Woman on cell: I know you’re full of muscle relaxants and want to chat, but I can’t talk right now. Just take a picture of it and email it to me.
–57th & 6th
Overheard by: Withnail
Girl: Oh! Funny story — I was talking to my therapist about suicide yesterday…
–13th & 6th
Overheard by: gigglesnort
Let’s Go Rent Big Clits Big Lips
Drunk 30-ish woman #1, leaning on friend: Isn’t it amazing how small men’s dicks get when they’re… you know… down?
Drunk 30-ish woman #2: It’s more amazing how small some men’s dicks are when they’re actually up.
–1 train platform
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Americans Call That ‘The Naughty Bit’
Bloke #1 looking at subway map: It’s not actually that big a city, is it?
Bloke #2: Yeah, and there’s really no need for this bit here.
Bloke #1: That’s where all the rappers grew up.
–L station, 3rd Ave
Overheard by: miss blanky-poo
Come and Meet Those Dancing Feet
Young woman running up platform, slamming into tourist lady: Damn fucking tourists! Get the fuck out of my way!
Tourist lady: Excuse me, what?
Young woman: Don’t be ‘what’-ing me. I just gave you a New-fucking-York experience. You should be thanking me.
–Subway station, 42nd St
Overheard by: Susane
It’s Made-Up People Doing Real Things
Ghetto chick #1: Hey, Shonondra?
Ghetto chick #2: Yeah?
Ghetto chick #1: Is fiction the troof?
–Subway platform, 14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: jim
I Should Always Get What I Don’t Really Want
Girl #1 running down subway steps as train pulls away: Hurry, hurry! … Shit! We just missed it!
Girl #2: We didn’t want a six train anyways.
Girl #1: I know… But it still pisses me off.
–4/5/6 platform, Union Square
Overheard by: Bean