Archive for the ‘Subway Stations’ Category

But Don’t Tell Her I Said That

White girl: I don’t get that girl. I just don’t like her.
Black boyfriend: Why?
White girl: Because if I don’t like someone, I tell them. Straight at their face, I’m like, ‘I don’t like you.’ But she be talking behind people’s backs and shit. It’s not cool, yo.
Black boyfriend: Yeah.
White girl: And she thinks she’s ghetto, but she’s not. We ghetto — she’s not. –Uptown C platform, 34th St

Wednesday-One-Liners Will Be Held in the Station Momentarily…Thank You for Your Patience

Conductor: There are seats towards the back of the train.
Keep walking! Sometime today, people. What did you stop for? Keeeep walking! –Train to Grand Central Overheard by: Muffin Conductor: Where’s the other guy? Raj, if you can hear me, you can come pick up your My Little Pony from the booth. –LIRR, Hempstead station Subway station announcement: Because of an earlier incident, all trains are now running. –Union Square Station Overheard by: E Moran Conductor: This is 36th Street. Step to the side and let all the monkeys off the train. Let the monkeys off the train. –Queens bound N train Conductor: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is an extremely crowded F train. Next stop is Jay Street, and by this time it’s official, every person in New York is on this train. Please stand clear of the closing doors, if you can. –Coney Island bound F train Overheard by: F Train Sloper Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, the next stop is 59th Street. And if you haven’t voted and are thinking of voting for Bush, please see the movie Fahrenheit 9/11. Thank you. Stand clear of the closing doors. –4 Train, 42nd St Overheard by: Jonny Conductor: You have yourself a satisfying Thursday. –F train

Wednesday One-Liners’ Hometowns Were Glad to See Them Go

Brit lady, to MTA booth lady: Two adults, please. We’ll be getting off around 58th Street. –14th St F station Overheard by: Fidget Tourist: Excuse me, does the F train stop here? –Subway sandwiches, Houston & Lafayette Tourist woman, loudly: Jeany? How many stops are we going on this train? –Times Square shuttle Overheard by: nevermind Tourist: Excuse me, which way is it to Upper Town? –Broadway & Worth Overheard by: dukes Tourist: Is this now the Grand Canyon of the East Coast? –Ground Zero Tourist: My plane doesn’t leave for 4 hours. Can I walk to the Statue of Liberty from here? –La Guardia Airport Overheard by: Jose Hernandez Tourist, leading a group of more than a dozen fellow tourists: Okay, I… um…don’t know where we are now…Oh, wait! Yes I do! We’re at the South Street Seaport! –Union Square Blonde: Look, there’s the Chrysler. Look, there’s Times Square. Where’s the Empire State Building? –Top of Empire State Building Overheard by: englishman in new york Tourist, to deck hand: I can’t see the Statue of Liberty. Would you please move the lifeboat out of the way while I take a picture? –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Steven Lowell