Archive for the ‘Subway Stations’ Category

Wednesday-One-Liners Will Be Held in the Station Momentarily…Thank You for Your Patience

Conductor: There are seats towards the back of the train.
Keep walking! Sometime today, people. What did you stop for? Keeeep walking!

–Train to Grand Central

Overheard by: Muffin


Conductor
: Where’s the other guy? Raj, if you can hear me, you can come pick up your My Little Pony from the booth.


–LIRR, Hempstead station


Subway station announcement
: Because of an earlier incident, all trains are now running.


–Union Square Station

Overheard by: E Moran


Conductor
: This is 36th Street. Step to the side and let all the monkeys off the train. Let the monkeys off the train.


–Queens bound N train


Conductor
: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is an extremely crowded F train. Next stop is Jay Street, and by this time it’s official, every person in New York is on this train. Please stand clear of the closing doors, if you can.


–Coney Island bound F train

Overheard by: F Train Sloper


Conductor
: Ladies and gentlemen, the next stop is 59th Street. And if you haven’t voted and are thinking of voting for Bush, please see the movie Fahrenheit 9/11. Thank you. Stand clear of the closing doors.


–4 Train, 42nd St

Overheard by: Jonny


Conductor
: You have yourself a satisfying Thursday.


–F train


Wednesday One-Liners’ Hometowns Were Glad to See Them Go

Brit lady, to MTA booth lady: Two adults, please. We’ll be getting off around 58th Street. –14th St F station Overheard by: Fidget Tourist: Excuse me, does the F train stop here? –Subway sandwiches, Houston & Lafayette Tourist woman, loudly: Jeany? How many stops are we going on this train? –Times Square shuttle Overheard by: nevermind Tourist: Excuse me, which way is it to Upper Town? –Broadway & Worth Overheard by: dukes Tourist: Is this now the Grand Canyon of the East Coast? –Ground Zero Tourist: My plane doesn’t leave for 4 hours. Can I walk to the Statue of Liberty from here? –La Guardia Airport Overheard by: Jose Hernandez Tourist, leading a group of more than a dozen fellow tourists: Okay, I… um…don’t know where we are now…Oh, wait! Yes I do! We’re at the South Street Seaport! –Union Square Blonde: Look, there’s the Chrysler. Look, there’s Times Square. Where’s the Empire State Building? –Top of Empire State Building Overheard by: englishman in new york Tourist, to deck hand: I can’t see the Statue of Liberty. Would you please move the lifeboat out of the way while I take a picture? –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Steven Lowell

…And Mild And Sweet The Words Repeat…

Woman: No thanks, the shoes just didn’t look good on me.
Salesguy: Thanks for trying.
Woman: Uh, you’re welcome? –Steve Madden, East 86th Street Overheard by: Lucy Old man: Is this bench for young people or old people? Because I only sit with the young.
Woman: It’s for everyone.
Old man: Well, since it’s Christmastime, I’ll sit with you. –Roosevelt Island station Overheard by: Suriya