Businessman (to hobo): Well, you’ve got to admit, there’s a lot of Jewish women and men in the city who will try to screw you over. –Central Park
Archive for the ‘Suits’ Category
Deaf, Dumb and Bran
Suit: Bran muffin.
Cashier: A bran muffin and what?
Suit: Just a bran muffin.
Cashier: Oh, I thought you said “coconut something”.
Suit: No, I don’t have coconut in the morning.
–Au Bon Pain, 44th & Madison
Rich Wednesday One-liners
Moneybags: I’m thinking about selling one of my sailboats. It got a leak in the dining room, so I figure why not? –Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd Overheard by: Greg Rutter Suit on cell: …yeah, I passed out with one shoe, but when I woke up they were both gone! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: ianr
“Well, at least no one overheard us.”
Drunk Suit #1: You do realize that we’re going to jail for this, right?
Drunk Suit #2: Yeah, I know.
Drunk Suit #1: I mean, Powers is dead!
–Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Happy J Year!
Suit #1: It’s the same judge that decided that the menorah and the islamic symbols are not religious, but that the cross is. And guess what? The judge?
Suit #2: Jewish?
Suit #1: Jewish.
–Madison & 44th
Damn Robots Taking Our Jobs!
Businessman #1: Hey man, guess what I just found out? Martin is a robot!
Businessman #2: I always thought so. At least he’s a good robot.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
It’s All Greek to Me
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
Yes, But Thoughts Are Usually A Penny
Street Vendor: Hey, hey, hey man, jewelry blow out special. Everything a dollar. Buy something nice for your wife for the holidays. One dollar!
Businessman: A dollar? I’m not gonna buy my wife jewelry for a dollar.
Street Vendor: It’s the thought that counts.
–57th and 8th
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Bludgeoning: The New Cure for Alzheimer’s
Businessman: He needs a good beating. He’s starting to lose his mind. –Midtown office
Maybe He Should Be Labelled Smart Businessman
Businessman: I’m thinking that a $10 parking ticket is just a $10 parking permit for the day. –Midtown office