Old lady: No, Henry, trust me. You were never a fuck machine, and I certainly did know how to fake it. –113th & Broadway Overheard by: Marc Mitchell
Guy: It's like August: Osage County, but with zombies. –Manhattan Theatre Source Overheard by: Emily B. Girl: You know what they say: two in the bush, one in the wizard. –Dorm, Pratt Institute College student: Ghosts? They're like VT! –186th St & Amsterdam Black female suit on cell: Yeah, well you betta hope Tinkabell comes along… Or whoever the fuck it is who grants you ya damn wishes! –Penn Station Overheard by: emily d. Annoyed man on cell walking down stairs: No, mom, I don't know what werewolves eat! No, mom, I don't! Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm going into the subway! –Union Square Subway Entrance Overheard by: Masked Avenger
Suit: Excuse me. You know, if you wouldn’t stand in the doors, we could all get on and get off a lot faster.
Woman: Shut the fuck up, bitch. –A train, Jay Street station Overheard by: David Wood
Suit, after losing a sleeve button on escalator: Oh, motherfucker!
Pre-recorded service announcement: Have a nice day!
Suit: Yeah, fuck you too. –E Train
Grandma to kid: It’s really hard to kill people, you know.
(20-something sits down and stretches his arms out in a yawn)
Man sitting one seat away: If you touch my leg I’ll kill you. –1 Train Middle-aged beefcake on phone: Oh yeah? Well he’s not trying anymore because he’s dead. –42nd & Lex Overheard by: bildita Suit on cell: He was a great guy, until he decided to kill someone. –Smith & Wollensky Loud woman on payphone (very angrily): Well what the fuck am I supposed to do with her? Mausoleum? What? What the fuck? –96th & Madison Overheard by: grateful undead Seven-year-old black boy: I’m goin’ to Iraq, to kill Obama! –125th & Amsterdam Overheard by: The Drummey
Lady suit: I mean, if she got hit by a bus or something and he was grieving and I brought over a casserole, he would totally fall in love with me.
Suit #1: It would have to be a damn good casserole.
Lady suit: I make a damn good casserole–have you never had my casserole?
Suit #2: Maybe we should invite her over to the office and have a party on the balcony, and then we can all bump into her at the same time and push her off. –Lincoln Plaza Cinemas Overheard by: indie movie girl
Suit #1: Where’s this dive you were telling me about?
Suit #2: West of Union Square.
Suit #1: Oh yeah?
Suit #2: Yeah, ballerina girls from Michigan go there. They are bendy. –Old Slip office Overheard by: Kevin
Suit on cell: Never make any decisions after drinking two pitchers of beer. After the first one, I was like "okay, this is what I'm doing." But after the second one, I ended up as director of the D.C. United Way. At first, I wasn't too worried, because I figured they'd give me a drug test, and I knew I wouldn't pass. –6 Train Hopeful-looking guy to concerned-looking guy: Basically, you're not ready to be an alcoholic, so you should stay away from alcohol. –Polk St Girl to guy friend: She's a great drunk. She's probably one of the best people to hang out with when she's drunk. –Pratt Institute Overheard by: T Hawker: It's happy hour! Come on up, and I'll watch your kids while you get drunk. –Planet Hollywood Girl, during lunch: I'm not drunk anymore! –W 4th & University Place
Suit #1: Yeah, there were three Korean chicks making out. And I was making out with two other dudes!
Suits #2 & #3: Nice! –Outside Bar, East Village
Flustered suit pacing along street: Just letting you know I got a FedEx from Bruce Willis, I guess he finally decided to pay his bills. –84th St Overheard by: mikaela Man to dinner companion: So did you know Mia Farrow is doing a hunger strike? Because of what's happening in Darfur? I hope she dies. –Red Bamboo, West Village Transvestite: Damn, that girl looks like Brooke Shields. Damn, that white girl in the blue shoes looks like Brooke Shields. –4 Train Man giving out Metro newspaper: Metro! Metro! Whoooeee, baby, you looking like Jennifer Lopez! Metro! –7 Train Suit on cell: If he does it again I am going to get all Chuck Woolery on his ass! –Gold St