Hobo walking around making gun with hands: Spiderman, Spiderman, Spiderman…
Bag lady, to no one in particular: He thinks he's s Spiderman, but he's really not.
Hobo to hand: She's right, ya know. Spiderman.
–Penn Station
Archive for the ‘Superheroes’ Category
If “Who's on First?” Had Been Written by Stoners
Man #1: Who asked you?
Man #2: The executive.
Man #1: The executive?
Man #2: The executive.
Man #1: The executive of what?
Man #2: Of what?
Man #1: Yes.
Man #2: Of Batman.
–Manhattan
Kevin Smith's High School Classmates Are Kicking Themselves Now
High school boy: Superheroes are cool, right?
High school girls: (laughs)
–Governors Island
Overheard by: Brigdh
Wednesday's One-Liner Sense Is Tingling
Black man in Batman suit trying to get tourists to pay to take pictures with him: I got bills! I got bills!
–Times Square
Overheard by: kpan
Traffic cop, motioning in vain for car to stop: I guess my powers aren't working today…
–Citifield, 7 Train Entrance
Teenage girl: I love my physics teacher. He's like a fat, middle-aged Superman.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Large man with heavy accent shouting into cell: Please send somebody–I have just been robbed. (pause) I am on the corner. (pause) What do you mean, "white"? He is a Spiderman! He's wearing a Spiderman suit!
–Stanton & Essex
Like Fauxhawks and Living with Your Parents
College girl: Like Spiderman and Batman?
College guy, enthusiastically: That analogy is always cool!
–186th St & Arthur Ave
Wasn't He Val Kilmer in Top Gun?
Cute little four-year-old girl: Daddy, who was The Iceman?
Father, without hesitation: He was a serial killer.
Cute little four-year-old girl: Oh.
–Barnes & Noble
Victoria's Most Well-Kept Secret
Son to father: Daddy, do they sell Spiderman clothes in here?
Father: No, I am pretty sure they don't sell Spiderman stuff in here.
Son: Yes they do!
–Victoria's Secret
Mr. Coulier Was the Last Person We'd Suspect
20-something guy: Dave, are you Superman?
Dave: Yeah, I am!
20-something guy, screaming: See? See? Your whole thing goes down the shitter.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: Touche
“Where There Is a Sample Sale, I Will Be There.”
Greenpeace canvasser to two girls with mother: Girls, do you want your mom to be a superhero today?
Mom: I'm already a superhero, I just bought them clothes!
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: Erin
Wednesday One-Liners Will Be Married to Supermodels One Day
Nerdy tourist boy looking at display: My depth perception is yelling at me…
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: jules
Pizza guy on cell: Have a good 4th… What? No, I said to have a good 4th, not "may the force be with you." (pause) Have a good 4th. (pause) Yeah, have a good 4th, and may the force be with you. Uh- huh. Good night.
–Dekalb & Hall St, Brooklyn
Indian nerd to friends, in the midst of heated debate: Dude, vitamins are fucking weak!
–Grand Central Subway Platform
Overheard by: djprojexion
Geek on cell, in line at Comic Con: Dude, I'm at the con… It's like, ten times more awesome…than anything awesome!
–NYC Comic Con
Overheard by: RedmanInc
Nerdy guy: Some super powers come with implied powers. Like the power of flight. You assume the power of wind resistance, because you'd get pretty freaking cold flying 200 mph. But no one ever thinks of that.
–Fordham Law School