Stoner #1: Yo, I’m Superman.
Stoner #2: If you’re Superman, I’m Superman too.
Stoner #1: How the hell can you be Superman?
Stoner #2: I’ll show you later!
–14th St., Union Square
Overheard by: Supacat
Archive for the ‘Superheroes’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Are Going to Need to Wand You
Black security guard: Hello, and welcome to Urban Outfitters. Break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down…
–Urban Outfitters, 6th Ave
Security guy to woman whose bag is in the machine: Lady, there is something Batman-shaped in your bag. Do you have Batman in your bag? Are you aware that you are not allowed to take American heroes out of the country?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Susan
Big security guard: Put your IDs in the air! … And wave ‘em around like you just don’t care!
–NYU SIlver Building
Security guard, into walkie talkie: Ice, get your balls out of your wife’s purse, and kick that guy out!
–Music Hall of Williamsburg, Jonathan Richman concert
Overheard by: j-bones
I Mean, What Would You Do Out of the Ordinary?
Guy #1: So, what would you do if Superman were real and flew in through your room window?
Guy #2: You mean, besides having my feet behind my ears?
–Loews Theatre, Lincoln Square
Overheard by: Shea
Wednesday One-Liners Look Manly in Tights
Despondent hobo: Spider-Man is dead, mothafuckah.
–Thompson & Bleecker
Overheard by: Emily B.
Earnest white girl: So, I’ve been thinking about it, and here’s what I’m picturing — dat ho is lyin’ flat on her stomach, and Superman is on top of her, but he has to maybe keep his arms out in front of him like he’s in flyin’ position… And it seems like maybe it would be easier to Superman a small person… I bet you could Superman a big girl. Yeah, definitely.
–H&M, Soho
Angry vendor in heavy accent, after police bust nearby: They just arrest him. They arrest everybody. They think they are Superman!
–Greene St, Soho
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Costumed guy: Two things you never do — you never pull Superman’s cape, and you never kick Spider-Man in the nuts! [To friend dressed as Spider-Man] You are wearing a cup, right?
–13th & University
Overheard by: theresa