Archive for the ‘Superheroes’ Category

Ever Played “Adult” Double Dare?

Drunk girl: That sucks that Souljah Boy is getting sued. His song is really good.
Drunk guy: Are you serious? Do you know what “Superman” means?
Drunk girl: Yeah, it means you ejaculate on someone’s back and stick the bed sheet to it. Like a Superman cape.
Drunk guy: Ok, but do you know what “Spiderman” means?
Drunk girl: No.
Drunk guy: It means you cum in your hand and throw it at the chick in a big blob!
Drunk girl: Ewww, like Nickelodeon Gak! –House Party, Bronx Overheard by: Sromeo

Wednesday One-Liners Are Going to Need to Wand You

Black security guard: Hello, and welcome to Urban Outfitters. Break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down… –Urban Outfitters, 6th Ave Security guy to woman whose bag is in the machine: Lady, there is something Batman-shaped in your bag. Do you have Batman in your bag? Are you aware that you are not allowed to take American heroes out of the country? –LaGuardia Overheard by: Susan Big security guard: Put your IDs in the air! … And wave ’em around like you just don’t care! –NYU SIlver Building Security guard, into walkie talkie: Ice, get your balls out of your wife’s purse, and kick that guy out! –Music Hall of Williamsburg, Jonathan Richman concert Overheard by: j-bones