Archive for the ‘Surgery’ Category

Wednesday One-Liner Is the Second-Largest Property Owner in NYC, After the Catholic Church

Columbia student to another: When I get rich, I'm totally having the sweat glands in my armpits removed. –Columbia University Undergrad to friend: So I should tell you about today's existential crisis… –Columbia University Overheard by: Katie Naum Guy to group of friends: Hey, you guys ever watch that video in health ed, of disabled people having sex? It was upsetting. –Columbia University Overheard by: L-Dubbs Columbia undergrad: I am taking so many classes right now, like 18 credits, cause I have no clue what to do with my life. Part of me wants to go to business school here because I can make a lot of money fast, and part of me wants to go to law school here because it's more practical and will make me more over the long run. But then I am also in this class on genocide, which is a topic I love. So maybe I will do something with that instead. –Max Cafe, 122nd & Amsterdam Ave Overheard by: reluctantprof

The Make-a-Wednesday-One-Liner Foundation

Lady on phone: Well, I wish I could get the fat removed from my back but we can't all get what we want, can we? –Target 10-year-old child with mother and younger siblings: I wish I could get a diaper… –K-Mart, Astor Place Random smoking kid: I really wish I could smoke out of my ass. –Lincoln Center Girl crossing the street: I really wish something would hit me…I need some money. –Times Square Overheard by: 3 day tourist Girl, after receiving gift: This is…this is so great! I'm so happy! Oh, man! I…I wish you had a little penis so I could give it a rub right now! –Barnes & Noble, Park Slope

Are You Pre-op or Post-op, Wednesday One-Liners?

Pragmatic bouncer: Well, there weren’t enough women there, so we threw in a tranny… –Broadway Caribou Coffee Overheard by: jenny Lui Man, to friend: So, he says to me "Oh, I have a sex-change operation scheduled for that day, so I can’t make it." –46th, b/w 8th & 9th Overheard by: christine 30-something woman with nose ring, on cell: She’s like a transvestite… And an ugly bird. She’s like a transvestite and an emu. [pause] It’s a really ugly bird. –7th Ave Overheard by: James from Jersey Guy: So then I was like, suck my twat! –21st & 6th 20-something girl: I had him as both a man and a woman. –17th St & 5th Ave Overheard by: Tater Dude: It’s been ages since I had testicles! –Grand Sichuan, St. Mark’s Place Overheard by: Rose Fox