Drunk girl: As it turns out, while I was away on vacation my husband had a vasectomy without me knowing about it…

–12th & 5th, Park Slope

Dressy guy: Instead of having my colonoscopy today, I think I’ll go to Valentine’s with you.

–3rd & LaGuardia

Woman on cell: So yeah, the surgery went great, and they saved my ovary. Yay! What? Of course I’m still on the pill! Do you think I actually want to use it?

–Grand Central

Overheard by: E

Guy on cell: Yeah, she said it was a cyst and that I probably shouldn’t have tried to perform surgery on myself.

–26th & Park Ave South

Overheard by: Rose Fox

NYU queer: So, are you getting some kind of penis enlargement today, or what?

–Waverly & University