Archive for the ‘Talking/Convos’ Category

…You Should've Kept the 19-Year-Old on the Side!

50-something guy #1: I mean, I like being with her, I just feel we have nothing to talk about.
50-something guy #2: You have to admit it wasn't really the conversation you got into the relationship for.
50-something guy #1: I know. But I still wish we connected more.
50-something guy #2, exasperated, suddenly much louder: Well, then you shouldn't have left your wife for a 19-year old!

–Asphalt Green Gym

Overheard by: Richard

The Best I Can Do Is Hostile Humming

Hot girl #1: He was into weird shit.
Hot girl #2: Like what?
Hot girl #1: Well, nothing too crazy. Just unusual stuff. Like, he liked me to say degrading things to him as I was blowing him. If it wasn't sufficiently degrading he couldn't get off.
Hot girl #2: That is weird.
Hot girl #1: Yeah, and I mean, for one, I'm not really comfortable with that; and second, it's really hard to talk with a dick in your mouth.
Hot girl #2, seriously: Totally.

–Wine Bar, East Village

Overheard by: I've noticed this too.

Biblically?

White man selling stories: You wanna hear a story?
20-something white guy: What's it about?
White man selling stories: It's about a pirate, his parrot, and cyborgs.
20-something white guy: Okay.
White man selling stories: First, are you familiar with robots?

–Brooklyn Bridge

Overheard by: Human Being

Now I Wanna Pimp Slap You.

Girl #1: Oh my god! What happened to your face?!
Girl #2, with black eye: I got pimp-slapped.
Girl #1: What does that mean?
Girl #2: You know, like when a ho gets out of line, her pimp backhands her. You know, like “bitch, where's my money?!” (pauses) Smack!
Girl #1: What? You were slapped by a pimp?
Girl #2, annoyed: No! Ugghh, Derek* hit me!
Girl #1: I don't get it, I thought he was a lawyer.
Girl #2: You are such a fucking idiot… You're buying me lunch.

–Chelsea