Archive for the ‘Tattoos’ Category

Those Were Uggs, You Tards

Guy #1: The girl with the tattoo on her breast.
Guy #2: Oh yeah, yeah. She got a huge booty. That shit be a jigglypuff.
Guy #1: Yeah, for real. I just wanna grab that shit.
Guy #2: Yeah, but she got hairy legs.
Guy #1: You seen ’em?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, she showed me.
Guy #1: But, you know, it’s winter. Girls be gettin’ sloppy in wintertime.
Guy #2: I don’t care, man. That shit’s atrocious. –4 train

Wednesday One-Liners Are Asstastic

Chubby girl on cell: Hello?! I’m getting a tattoo! What I need to know is: right butt cheek or left butt cheek? –Elevator, Sulzberger Hall, Barnard College Lady in cubicle on phone about daughter: She went from looking like a boy to J-Lo in three months, so she’s very busy shaking her booty — it’s raw, exposed estrogen. –Wall Street Man, to group of other men as thin passerby ignores them: Damn! Don’t she know it’s illegal for a black chick to have no ass?! –2nd Ave & 3rd St Overheard by: Ohiowatha Attractive teen: My ex-boyfriend used to tell me that I couldn’t talk about anything that had to do with my ass. He was, like, anal about it and would say all the time, ‘Don’t you talk about your ass, it’s going to completely turn me off — I don’t want to hear about it.’ –2 train Overheard by: Talia Man on cell: I remember — we just got my rear end replaced. –University Overheard by: Asinine Chick on cell: Eeyore’s butt — where is it?! –Harlem Overheard by: Ladle Man on cell: And she said, ‘You’re pretty cute for a garbage man,’ and then she grabbed my ass. –Hell’s Kitchen Overheard by: Kat