Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Tattoos’ Category

Because Robert Frost Just Isn't Ghetto Enough

Guy: Just know I chose my own fate: I drove by the fork in the road and went straight. Isn't it deep? I'm getting it tattooed on my shoulder.
Girl: Who are you quoting?
Guy: Jay-Z.

–34th St, Penn Station

Overheard by: No Lie

Headline by: Lauren

Runners-Up:
· “”99 Problems But a Bitch Ain’t One” Was Taken” – Cass
· “Just How Big Is Your Shoulder?” – porter
· “Maybe You Should Tattoo That Between Your Legs…” – LPS
· “Monkeys With Typewriters Couldn’t Ever End Up With Gold Like That” – Caitorade
· “The Confucious Of Our Generation” – Fresca


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Or Anyplace Else in New York, Except Possibly Staten Island

Loud black girl on train #1: Why ain't we goin' to the tattoo place on West 4th Street?
Loud black girl on train #2: Nah, we can't got there, Christine's homophobic. She can't go there.

–A Train

Consumers of Popular Culture Are Also Its Victims

Hispanic guy: Oh, it's just a fag.
Hispanic chick: What?
Hispanic guy: I thought it was Jason Bourne.
Hispanic chick: You thought Jason Bourne was gonna come after us?
Hispanic guy: Yeah… Hey, look–it's another tattoo place! Tonight's the night!
Both together (singing): Tonight's the night!

–Stanton & Norfolk

She Said, as She Adjusted Her Burka.

(talking about man with tattoos covering his arms)
Woman #1: Wow, can you believe that?
Woman #2: I know! I could never do that to my body.
Woman #1: Yeah! I mean, all my tattoos are in places you can't see.

–G Train

Overheard by: EFO

Headline by: tatoo-less

Runners-Up:
· “But My Colonoscopist Says They’re Lovely!” – Fred
· “For Only My Baby to Appreciate.” – KJM
· “Inside My Fat Rolls.” – Mike
· “Inside the Cover Of the Howard the Duck Collectors Edition DVD.” – KJM
· “That Gerbil Is the Most Talented Tattoo Artist I Know” – Treize


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

“Fuck Your Mother” Is Practically a Good-Guy Mantra

Young thug #1: Everyone is getting tattoos! Everyone!
Young thug #2: Like who?
Young thug #1: Dave. He just got another tat. I want a tat!
Young thug #2: So, why don't you get one?
Young thug #1: I can't… (whispers) My mom won't let me.
Young thug #2: Shit, nigga, fuck your mother. You can get a tat and be a good guy. I'm a good guy. My record is sealed!

–Deli, Park Slope

Wednesday One-Liners Won't Be Buried in the Jewish Cemetery

Girl on cell (reading US Weekly): Hey, Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee were photographed together! That means there's still hope for me and that guy from the tattoo shop!

–Brookyln Diner, Times Square

Latina: What's with grandma keeping gettin' tattoos that show?

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Justin Case de Foodisbad

Chick to another: The only thing he better get tattooed on his butt is my name!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Angela

Guy to girlfriend: Does that guy over there have a picture of Kim Jong II tattooed on his shoulder? (pause) Or is that his kid? (pause) Cause that's fucked up!

–Brighton Beach

Overheard by: Not sure myself…

Girl: So I hooked up with this guy who had a prison tattoo of an eagle ripping up the communist manifesto. I was like: "God bless America," y'know?

–N train

Overheard by: amen

The Finals Are in Miami Every Other Year

Middle-aged woman #1: … And she went and got the sluttiest tattoo in the world.
Middle-aged woman #2: Wow, there’s tough competition for that one!

–Trader Joe’s

Overheard by: Manhattman