Archive for the ‘Tattoos’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Won't Be Buried in the Jewish Cemetery

Girl on cell (reading US Weekly): Hey, Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee were photographed together! That means there's still hope for me and that guy from the tattoo shop!

–Brookyln Diner, Times Square

Latina: What's with grandma keeping gettin' tattoos that show?

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Justin Case de Foodisbad

Chick to another: The only thing he better get tattooed on his butt is my name!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Angela

Guy to girlfriend: Does that guy over there have a picture of Kim Jong II tattooed on his shoulder? (pause) Or is that his kid? (pause) Cause that's fucked up!

–Brighton Beach

Overheard by: Not sure myself…

Girl: So I hooked up with this guy who had a prison tattoo of an eagle ripping up the communist manifesto. I was like: "God bless America," y'know?

–N train

Overheard by: amen

Tramp-Stamped Wednesday One-Liners

Tattoo flyer guy: Tattoos… They hurt like hell!

–St. Mark’s Pl

Thug: I spread her ass out and she had a ‘W’ tattooed on the inside of one cheek and a ‘W’ tattooed on the inside of the other!

–JMZ

Dude: Well, I’ve got a tattoo of Calvin peeing on my butthole.

–Bedford & N 7th

Overheard by: Dylan

Man on cell: Mother! You got a tattoo? You hoodlum!

–Dean & DeLuca

TA: Anyone who needs his last name tattooed on his side has to be a real fucktard.

–Fayerweather Hall, Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

A Thug’s Tail

Thugette #1: I’m gonna be gettin’ me a mermaid tattoo.
Thugette #2: Mermaids? Hey, mermaids ain’t no gangsta.
Thug: Yo, don’t you be dissin’ those mermaids. I’m down with the Little Mermaid.

–Times Square

A Man Only Has to Be Slightly Better Than His Friends

Suit #1: She had a fat ass with a big skank mark.
Suit #2: A what?
Suit #1: One of those skanky over-the-ass tattoos.
Woman next to them, irritated: That’s called a goddess tattoo.
Suit #1: Goddess of what? Ass fucking?
Suit #2: A Greek goddess! [He and Suit #1 laugh.]
Suit #3, to woman: Sorry about these guys. Can I buy you a drink?

–Iguana Bar