Archive for the ‘Teens’ Category

White Folks Still Claim Jesus Was A Cracker

Teen boy: Do you know where I can find those Communion wafers? I want to eat them with salsa.
Friend: Um, you can’t just eat those. It’s the body of Christ. –Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Jason
Headline by: Bored Beyond Belief
Runners-Up:
· “Besides, Three Days Later You’ll Be Hungry Again” – Sparky
· “…And After Three days, He Arose, with Craving for Pico de Gallo” – Russ Wall
· “…And They’re 2000 Years Past Their Expiration Date” – John
· “And Stop Putting Salt on the Rim of the Chalice” – Amy Stephenson
· “Betcha Can’t Transubstantiate Just One” – chris
· “Body of Satan Has More Tang Anyway” – Jessica
· “Friends Don’t Let Friends Go to Church Stoned” – Pix
· “If Jesus Wanted Us to Eat Him with Salsa, He’d Be Appearing on Tortillas…. Oh… Wait.” – ilemanzer
· “Look for the Bag Marked ‘Corpus Crispy'” – Slept thru the Sermon
· “My God Stays Crunchy in Milk” – Benedict
· “That’s What You Said about the Last Donut, Too” – SDP
· “The Next Special Ingredient on Iron Chef” – dan
· “They’re Best Served with Dogma” – zg
· “Try the Taco Bells of St. Mary’s” – jules

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Every Hunter Longs to Become the Hunted

Teenage girl: So I'm getting better at hooking up with guys and not getting attached! I hooked up with Jake last week, and I don't feel anything at all!
Friend: Yeah, but that's not hard. He's, like, impossible to get attached to. We need to find you a challenge. Who's really cute and cuddly?
Random old man walking in front of them: Pick me, pick me! –Port Authority Bus Terminal Overheard by: cute and cuddly

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Wednesday One-Liners Are Here, They’re Queer, They’re Not Going Anywhere

Woman: And you are not a lesbian either! You are only gay on weekends. –Union Square Overheard by: Adam Bozarth Teen girl: I know Jimmy’s not gay because he stole my girlfriend. –R train Preacher: Mark my words–by sunrise you will be smothered in lesbians. –53rd & 5th Overheard by: Kaleena Thoughtful guy: I always thought that if I were gay I’d be the manlier one. But now that I think about it I’d want to be the girly one for all the free stuff. –26th & 1st Overheard by: Charles Guy on cell: Wait…Christ! It’s gayer than three snaps in Z formation in here. –The Hangar, Christopher St Overheard by: TK Midwestern guy: That is complete bullshit! How do you make a dog gay? –Century 21 Teen girl: It’s funny talking to him now. I mean, in the eighth grade we knew he was gay, but not take-it-up-the-butt gay. –Uptown 1 train

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Wednesday: Soft As a Baby's One-Liner

Drunk middle aged man, grabbing wife's shoulder: Watch this! Nine months from tonight! Count it, people! She's going to have a motherfucking baby! Nine months! Niiiiiine months! –E 9th St & University Place Overheard by: NYUTSOA2012 Tween to grandmother: There's this girl in my class at school who had a baby around Halloween, and she named it Starlight. It's a baby girl. –F Train Overheard by: office peon Hysterical teen: If I had nine months left to live I would have his baby! –Gee Whiz, Tribeca Train conductor: Stand clear of the closing doors! Especially if you got a baby and a baby carriage! –Uptown 2 Train Attractive brunette: There were dead babies in the tree. Like Christmas ornaments. –96th & Broadway

Republished by Blog Post Promoter