Drunk middle aged man, grabbing wife's shoulder: Watch this! Nine months from tonight! Count it, people! She's going to have a motherfucking baby! Nine months! Niiiiiine months! –E 9th St & University Place Overheard by: NYUTSOA2012 Tween to grandmother: There's this girl in my class at school who had a baby around Halloween, and she named it Starlight. It's a baby girl. –F Train Overheard by: office peon Hysterical teen: If I had nine months left to live I would have his baby! –Gee Whiz, Tribeca Train conductor: Stand clear of the closing doors! Especially if you got a baby and a baby carriage! –Uptown 2 Train Attractive brunette: There were dead babies in the tree. Like Christmas ornaments. –96th & Broadway
Teen #1: What's a scallion pancake? Do you put syrup on it?
Teen #2: I don't know.
Teen #1: I thought scallions were a seafood.
Teen #2: No. That's “scallops.” –Chinese Takeout, Queens Overheard by: illyria
Teen girl: Girl, you look cute pregnant! You should stay pregnant! –2 train Overheard by: n69n
(teenagers are packing into a crowded subway car where a tiny, ancient-looking bag lady is panhandling)
Woman trying to be helpful: Hey, hey, slow down, careful–there's an old lady you people are gonna knock down!
Bag lady, shouting irately: I'm not old, motherfucker! –S Train Overheard by: P. nut
Woman to teen skater punks splashing in fountain: You know there's birdshit in that, right?
Lead teen skater punk: We're not drinking it! –55th St Water Fountain Overheard by: A little purel never hurt
Porn man: If you don’t have ID, I can’t let you in.
Minor guy: Man, I can sell pussy, but you won’t let me see pussy? –Porn store, 42nd between 8th & 9th
Teen girl #1: I totally don’t dream in color.
Teen girl #2: No, but you date in it. –Barnes & Noble, Staten Island Overheard by: Lola Black Chick #1: I want to see a play about interracial relationships. I want to have an interracial relationship.
Chick #2: I’m interracial; I have an interracial relationship with myself.
Chick #3: That’s why you’re so confused.
Chick #1: That’s why you’re so pretty. –The Public Theater, Lafayette Street
Teenage hipster to 40-something man in old clothes: Woah, is that a Hands Across America shirt?
40-something man: Yeah. Is that nostalgia for something you weren't even alive for? –Astoria Overheard by: Nostaliga-riffic
Teenage girl #1 (talking about an upcoming exam): I plan on baking some cupcakes tonight and giving them to Mr Collins* to bribe him.
Teenage girl #2: Good plan… I plan on baking him a handjob.
Teenage girl #1: He seems like a cupcake kind of guy. And a handjob kind of guy. –Brooklyn Friends School Overheard by: sounds delicious
Middle aged woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find English muffins?
Teen employee: All the muffins are in that aisle over there, but I don't know where they are from. –Waldbaums Supermarket, Bayside