Archive for the ‘Terrorism’ Category

Go Back to Elsewhere!

Tourist lady #1: Oh, it’s worth paying the cab fare. I mean, the subway…well, after September 11th it’s just not safe, you know?
Tourist lady #2: You’ve ridden the subway before?
Tourist lady #1: No, it smells weird. –Hunt Valley bus Overheard by: Katie Cheek Prospective girl #1: OK, so tomorrow, let’s all wear our “I Heart NY” t-shirts.
Prospective girl #2: Yeah! And I can wear my Columbia sweatshirt over it! –Morningside Heights Toddler: Why is Jack-Jack’s name “Jack-Jack”? Why not regular Jack?
Mom: That’s just a nickname. I think his real name is just plain Jack.
Toddler: Can my nickname be Johann-Johann? –1 train Overheard by: Matt G

So You Should Probably Stop Making Out with Her

Hipster girl: You know Mabel’s dead, right?
Hipster boy: [Snickers.] –9th St & Ave B Overheard by: Rebecca Katherine Hirsch Headline by: troy Runners-Up: · “And hen I heard about 9/11 I laughed so hard the milk came out my nose” – David Reitmeyer · “If I Knew You Were Going To Take That Attitude, I’d Never Have Named The Fetus” – ED · “Stan never thought about the awkward exchange AFTER you put your girlfriend’s cat in the microwave” – alexcalibur · “There are people named mabel who are still ALIVE?!” – mimi marquez
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-Liners May Need to Pay for It

Chick on cell: What are you doing tonight? Do you want to grab a drink, since I’m not having sex? –116th & Broadway Overheard by: Ladle Hobo: You know Bin Laden? Bin Laden has no sex. –1 train Lady to two girlfriends: She harasses people with that body. That’s why ain’t nobody want her. –96th St station Mid-50s blonde: I just don’t think I’m getting anything out of this. I mean, you don’t give me sex, you don’t give me money, so what the hell am I getting? –Sushi restaurant, Soho Man on cell: I’m okay now. The doctor said I could have sex. If only I could find someone to have sex with. –E 61st & Lex Blonde: We don’t have sex that much because I’m a virgin. –E 23rd & Lex Overheard by: Jake Guy in hallway: I’d stick it in her, but she’d just pull it back out again. –Leon M. Goldstein High Overheard by: Hand-banana