Lady #1, looking at Time Warner buildings: Oh, look, it's the twin towers!
Lady #2: Well… but like, those aren't the real Twin Towers… cuz, they like… fell.
Lady #1: Well, they're twins too, aren't they?
–Columbus Circle
Headline by: Chuckles
Runners-Up:
· “Oh, Look! The Octo-Towers!” – Octomom
· “Some Porn Movies Shouldn’t Even Try to Have Dialogue” – Twin Peaks
· “They’re Fraternal, Right?” – Chelsie
· “Yeah, the Anorexic Looking One Is the Mary-Kate Tower” – Errrrrn
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Archive for the ‘Terrorism’ Category
I've Made My Peace With Explosive Dismemberment
Girl: What are all these cops doing here?
Guy: Oh, there was a bomb threat.
Girl: That's not good, we should get out of here.
Guy: If bomb threats make you nervous, than the terrorists have already won.
–7th Ave & 27th St
Subway Preacher Tip #403: Know Your Audience.
Jamaican man: The biggest issue of our society is not terrorism but men lusting after women's butts! If you lust after women's butts you will burn in hell! Women, do not show off your butts for you will burn in hell! Do not wear jeans or tight pants! Make sure you cover up your butts!
Passenger: I love the butts.
Jamaican man: Do you have no soul? The lust of the women's butts will only bring you to the devil! Please save yourself and stop lusting after the butts!
Passenger: Who loves the butts?
All men on train: Yay butts!
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: white girl with a big butt wearing tight pants
Americans Prefer to Learn About Other Countries by Invading Them
Female yuppie, looking at cover of New York Times: Wow. Look at that picture!
Male yuppie: What is it?
Female yuppie: It's like, some Al Qaeda guy walking in the water with all his guns and stuff.
Male yuppie: Where is he?
Female yuppie: I don't know. Algeria?
Male yuppie: I didn't know there was water in Algeria.
–Crossroads Cafe, Brooklyn
I Think I've Seen This Seinfeld Episode…
Young Jewish guy #1: You know how you're allowed to make jokes about 9/11 if you're from New York?
Young Jewish guy #2: Yeah, totally. You're definitely allowed to do that.
Young Jewish guy #1: Exactly. It's just like a Jew being able to make a joke about the Holocaust.
Young Jewish guy #2: Of course. It's like a rite of passage or something.
–Pier 3, Brooklyn
…Conspiring to Bring About Their Own Destruction
Crazy old black dude: I never heard of a white Taliban CIA.
Crazy young black dude: Yeah?
Crazy old black dude: Yeah. But now you know they out there.
–J Train
Overheard by: *c
Wednesday One-Liners for Hezbollah
Officer to old lady: Hey, don't leave you bag on the floor, there are terrorist everywhere.
–45th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: StriderNo9
Suit on cell: So you're gonna vote for a Muslim and a terrorist?
–MoMA
Hipster to friend: Yeah, terrorists totally love Bush.
–46th and 9th
Overheard by: choosing not to capitalize the B
Tourist: Are you guys terrorists?
–Rally for Gaza, 42nd & 7th
Overheard by: ooga booga
Loud black queer teen: But his best joke was like "What do you call people who hate ketchup?" (no response) "Al-Qaeda!" (bursts out laughing) Get it? It's funny because they don't have ketchup in Iraq!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ketchup lover
Boomsday One-Liners
Black guy: That show was so white, I just wanted to bomb the place.
–W 49th & Broadway
Overheard by: Erin
19-year-old street vendor: Well, pipe bombs are easy…but they do a lot of damage.
–Chinatown
Guy dressed in sequined jacket, screaming on escalator: I can't fucking believe this fucking shit. They have no fucking radios. What K-Mart got no fucking radios? No fucking radios! (after a long pause) I'm gonna bomb this muthafucka to the ground.
–K Mart, 8th St
Overheard by: I Didn't Know the Unibomber Got a Makeover
Man on phone: Do you know why they bombed on 7/11?
–50th St & 9th Ave
20-something girl to friend, after large explosion is heard: Well, I'm from Detroit, so when I hear things like that it doesn't even bother me.
–Union Square Holiday Market
Overheard by: isa
Woman, as a grungy guy walks by: Whenever I see sullen long-haired bearded men in army jackets I am afraid something is going to get blown up.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Fuck Amber Waves Of Grain– That's Our True National Treasure
Veteran on train: You know why America is the best country on earth?
NJ guy: Um, because we got the most stable economy and the greatest people. And because we fight terrorism where the rest of the countries aren't pulling their weight.
Veteran: Yep, I reckon that's all true. But I'll tell you, this week when I was visiting New York, I went to this soup place and ordered macaroni. And this macaroni was white, I mean with white cheese…not yellow. I mean, can you imagine white cheese? You think other countries have white cheese? I mean, in America you can have anything!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Horrified
Yeah, Good Point Mom, I'll Just Make One out of My Discman and Some Liquid Instead
Mom: The police are going to be everywhere today. They have to watch out for terrorists who might have bombs in their bags.
Little Boy: What if I accidentally have a bomb up my butt?
Mom: They'll have to squeeze it out of you. Being a policeman is a dangerous job.
Little Boy: But what if I fart, and it explodes?!
Mom: Being a policeman is a dangerous job.
–F Train
Overheard by: Stephanie E.