Archive for the ‘Terrorism’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners May Need to Pay for It

Chick on cell: What are you doing tonight? Do you want to grab a drink, since I’m not having sex? –116th & Broadway Overheard by: Ladle Hobo: You know Bin Laden? Bin Laden has no sex. –1 train Lady to two girlfriends: She harasses people with that body. That’s why ain’t nobody want her. –96th St station Mid-50s blonde: I just don’t think I’m getting anything out of this. I mean, you don’t give me sex, you don’t give me money, so what the hell am I getting? –Sushi restaurant, Soho Man on cell: I’m okay now. The doctor said I could have sex. If only I could find someone to have sex with. –E 61st & Lex Blonde: We don’t have sex that much because I’m a virgin. –E 23rd & Lex Overheard by: Jake Guy in hallway: I’d stick it in her, but she’d just pull it back out again. –Leon M. Goldstein High Overheard by: Hand-banana

Another Case of the Terrorist Twos

Little boy in stroller playing with toy car: Bomb! It’s a bomb!
Mom, wagging finger: It’s not a bomb, sweetie. Don’t say that.
Little boy: It’s a bomb! Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb!
Mom: Stop that!
Little boy: We have a bomb! Play with the bomb! Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb! –Manhattan-bound 3 train Overheard by: Jesus Jon

Why Would Anybody Do That?

Broker #1: There was a suicide attack in Israel yesterday.
Broker #2: How many people died?
Broker #1: Luckily, only three. They did it in a resort town in the South called Eilat.
Broker #2: They probably did that to get away with it.
Broker #1: It’s a suicide attack. They don’t get away with it, they get blown to pieces. –Office, Chrysler Building Overheard by: BoredBroker

Without Wednesday One-Liners, the Terrorists Win

Teacher to student: You don’t look like a golfer; you look like a terrorist. –Brooklyn Tech Flyer guy: No one goes to those run-of-the-mill Broadway shows on a Saturday night! The only people going to them is the Bin Laden family, and you don’t want to sit next to them. They’ll blow you to smithereens! –Times Square Overheard by: annahj Young kid, about fireworks nearby: Look, Mommy! They’re planning a terrorist attack! –13th & 2nd Dude: Prisons are nice, man. I’d rather go to prison than be out here with the terrorists! it’s safer in prison. –Court & Livingston, Brooklyn Overheard by: cary